


Comeback Season

by brokenhighways



Series: Comeback Season [2]
Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Angst, Basketball, Drama & Romance, Epistolary, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-01-23 03:27:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18541345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: The Los Angeles Devils are no more. Jude Kinkade has been forced to oversee a rebrand after numerous scandals - including insider gambling and murder - and the team are now known as The Los Angeles Riders. With the Commissioner giving Jude a year to turn things around, his hand is forced when the minority shareholders approach his ex-boyfriend Zero and convince him to re-sign with the team. Will they manage to turn things around or will they crash and burn while trying?





	1. First Quarter

**Author's Note:**

> ... somehow I sat down to edit this and ended up with two thousand extra words. *cries*
> 
> I also don't remember the exact details of the season 4 happenings, so I've exercised some poetic license there.
> 
> (8/05/19 - Part 4 is on the way. The curse of not finishing before posting has struck again and there's now a Part 5. Siiiiiiigh.)

**First Quarter**

_ isn.com | MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!  _

_ Los Angeles Riders owner, Jude Kinkade, announced the return of small forward, Zero, via a brief statement earlier today. We didn't get a response when we reached out to Kinkade for further comment...but we're sure that has nothing to do with the contentious personal relationship he once shared with Zero.  _

_ More to follow… _

* * *

Jude has barely finished reading the Inside Sports Network 'article’ before he's hitting call on his cell. He rolls his eyes when it goes to voicemail and simply says, “Either edit the article or I'll have it removed.”

Noah, his ex-boyfriend, has been loving the pandemonium that's come with Zero's return. Everyone has. There have been countless blogs, articles, podcasts, social media posts, YouTube videos, radio and television interviews. All complete with comments from Jude that he definitely didn't make. 

Since the match fixing scandal and drama with the league, Jude's struggled to maintain control over his own team. The name change? Not his idea. Zero coming back? Not his idea. Appointing Terrence Wall as Head Coach even though he's very much inexperienced and only ever coaches lower league basketball? Not his idea. At the moment, it feels like he's team owner in name only. 

That's not even the worst of it. 

In five minutes he has to come face to face with the person that smashed his heart into countless pieces -  _ Zero _ . 

Marcus Douglas, Riders board member/shareholder and all around pain in the ass, is insisting that Jude be the face of the team rebrand. That involves attending Zero's first press conference just like he did all those years ago. Except this time he's not behind the scenes; he's at the forefront just so he can be blamed if everything goes wrong.

Jude was expecting a call to go over any questions they may be expected to answer, but Marcus Douglas has that covered too. Zero's going to read a prepared statement while Jude sits there and says nothing. 

That's Marcus Douglas’ take on Jude's current position. 

None of the board members have any confidence in him, but they're not about to throw him to the wolves just yet either. 

Not when he'll eventually make a great scapegoat. 

~

Jude catches sight of Zero moments before the press conference begins. He's deep in conversation with his agent and publicist, but that doesn't mean Jude can't look at him. 

The first thing he notices is that Zero looks the same. Well, he's paler than he was a few years ago, but it's still him. Jude is so busy drinking in the sight that it takes a second for him to realise what Zero is saying to the mob of reporters in front of them.

“ _ I just wanted to be the first one to let you guys know that the upcoming season will be my last in professional basketball. I've had a fantastic career and I hope I can go out on a high with my new home team - Los Angeles Riders. Thank you _ .”

With that Zero stands and leaves, ignoring the flurry of questions hurled by all of the reporters.

Zero's last season playing professional basketball. 

It shouldn't mean anything to Jude. 

They split in a cloud of uncertainty. The board didn't want to renew Zero's contract and Jude wasn't willing to give up what he had here. In the end, long distance wasn't for them. They broke up after Zero turned down his proposal and Jude moved on. He dated the aforementioned reporter, Noah, on and off for two years and buried himself in his work. 

Zero's is yet to have another public relationship (and Jude's definitely kept tabs). There's been no dancers, or male swimwear models, just a slew of social media posts about his heartwarming reunion with his sister Laura. 

Jude's phone rings loudly, cutting him off mid thought. His jaw clenches involuntarily when he sees that it's Marcus Douglas. 

Marcus doesn't bother with a greeting. “Did you see Zero's press conference? What the hell was that? Retirement? This isn't what we discussed, Jude.”

Jude bites back his frustration. “Yes, Marcus, I saw it. You told me that I had to be here remember? I still don't think this is a good  idea. There's too much bad history. Too much bad blood.”

Zero’s retirement was rumoured before he became a free agent. He's won two championships since he left the Devils. One with New York and one after he returned to Cleveland. In comparison, the Devils have floundered since Derek Roman bowed out gracefully two years ago. Last season they finished bottom of their division amidst the revelation of  _ another _ betting scandal linked to the team. 

For some reason, the board think that Zero's the answer to their problems, never mind that he's injury prone and not going to be here long term. 

They're banking on the success of a comeback season despite Jude's protests. They don't need a washed up expense to deal with, they need young, fresh talent. They need to look to the future and not chase after glory. 

“This is  _ your _ team, Jude. I trust that you'll make it work. Talk to him. See if you can get him to change his mind.”

The line cuts off abruptly. 

Once again, Jude wonders what the point of being the team owner is when he has to answer to other people regularly. 

~

After the conference, Jude makes his way to his office. He has several phone conversations scheduled with potential sponsors and a lunch meeting with Lionel. Hopefully he can make it through the rest of the day without running into-

“Zero.”

The name falls from his lips like a familiar chord strummed on a guitar. 

Zero looks much better than he did from a distance, his hair is a dirty brown and messy like he doesn't care about looking perfect. The lines on his forehead are more pronounced, but there's still a youthfulness about him clear for all to see. 

Zero approaches him casually and smiles pleasantly, like Jude's some stranger he needs to charm. 

“Hey, Jude, I was hoping to bump into you. This is all happening so fast, right?” 

There's a smile on his face but all Jude sees are flashing warning signs. 

The last thing Zero said to him was  _ have a nice life, Jude.  _

Five words spoken so contemptuously that they may as well but tattooed onto his brain. 

There's a voice in Jude's head that sounds suspiciously like Marcus Douglas saying:  _ play it cool. _

It's futile, though, because he's always burned hot when Zero was around. 

That's not going to change now. 

“You seem to be getting what you want, as always,” Jude snaps. “Did you tell Marcus Douglas that this is your last season  _ before  _ you signed?”

Zero's smile falters and Jude thinks  _ gotcha _ .

“Everyone knows about my injury, it's why I was out for so much of last season. Perhaps the smart thing to do is to end my career before it gets any worse.”

Jude glances around the hallway and shakes his head. “Look, let's continue this in my office.”

Zero straightens up and folds his arms across his chest. “I'm good here.”

Jude raises an eyebrow. “Fine. Your  _ self-inflicted _ injury is why you were out for so much of last season. It's also the reason why Cleveland cut you. Why it was so easy for us to sign you again. Don't think that we don't know.”

The League did a good job of keeping it quiet, but Jude's spent so much time at headquarters that he's basically in the know. Zero's injury - while real - was a cover for an assault on another player. 

Zero's lips thin into a white line and he releases a bitter chuckle. “Yeah, I socked that asshole in the mouth and I broke my arm in two places. I'd do it again.”

It's unlike Zero to lash out at another person, and while curiosity will probably eat Jude alive for some time to come, this isn't his problem. If Zero is seriously injured he should have been honest with them. 

Jude shakes his head and looks down at his watch. “Whatever. Look, I have to go. I think Marcus said something about getting together to hash out the final details of your contract. I'll see you there.”

He turns to leave, but a hand on his arm stops him in his tracks. “Is that it?”

Jude looks back to see that the hard glint in Zero's eyes is gone. Instead, he looks disappointed, like he expected more from the conversation.

Jude frees his arm gently. “Yeah, Gideon. That's it. Welcome back.”

~

When Jude meets Lionel for lunch the first thing she asks about Zero. 

“How was he? Is he still hot? Is he  _ hotter _ ? I bet he is. Guys like that only seem to look better. It's just not fair.”

Jude takes a sip of his margarita and glares at her. “Seriously? I barely spoke to him.”

It's not like they have a lot to say to each other anyway. 

Lionel has this wild theory that Jude's still holding onto his relationship with Zero. Apparently that's the reason why him and Noah didn't work out. Noah being a raging asshole is just an aside. She seems to think that Marcus Douglas imposing his will on Jude is the universe giving him a sign. 

Lionel rubs his arm gently. “Jude, look, you were so lost when he left. Now's your time to either get closure or get your man. The choice is yours.”

Jude reaches around his neck and pulls out a thin gold chain. He's never told her that it belongs to Zero; he took it off in their bathroom one day and never put it back on. It was like Zero stopped caring about something that was part of him for so long. Just like how he stopped opening up, stopped letting Jude into his head. 

Jude releases the chain from his fingers. “I made my choice, Lionel and he said no. I wear that rejection every day.”

Zero's  _ no  _ still rings in his mind, echoing around each corner and reminding Jude of his failures. It's the one moment that he's never been able to fully get over.

Lionel scoffs and takes a long sip of her Pinot Blanc. “You know, if Marcus ever pushes you off the team, let me know. You have a flair for the dramatics that would be perfect in some trashy soap opera.”

Jude allows the jewelry to slip from his fingers and leans back in his seat. “I didn't think he'd ever come back. I mean, it's crazy that he  _ did _ come back. It's not like we're going to win the championship. Our head coach is Terrence Wall for Pete's sake.”

“Really?” Lionel says. “Now you want to bring my dead husband into this?” 

“It was a figure of speech.”

“Like I said. Dramatics. Stop whining like a little bitch, go and see Zero and figure out how you're going to spend the next year around him without needing a lifetime supply of Chunky Monkey.”

Sometimes, Jude's not sure why he's even friends with her. 

~

Marcus Douglas bails on the deal finalisation, leaving Jude staring at a passive Zero who's on the phone to his absent agent. He taps his Parker pen on his pine desk impatiently while he silently rages at Marcus's behaviour. 

“No, Mel, I've got this. Seriously. I won't let them screw me over. You enjoy your honeymoon. Tell Steve to make sure he gets his wallet out. I know how he is. Seriously. I'm good. Go and enjoy yourself. See you later.”

Jude makes a show of deliberately looking up from the papers on his desk and asking, “Are you done?”

Zero doesn't flinch at his tone, he just nods slowly. “Look, everything should be in order. We just have a few minor things to address. This isn't my first rodeo.”

That much is clear - the contract sitting on Jude's desk is a mess. It's full of concessions that he wouldn't have approved had he been in control of the process. 

“I'm ready to sign when you are,” Zero adds with a smug self serving grin. “Unless you have an issue with something?”

Jude doesn't bother to sugarcoat his words. 

“Like the nice hefty bonus for signing with a 'starter team’? Oh and a five percent stake in the team in return for the opportunities you'll provide. This is bullshit.”

Zero leans back in his seat and clasps his hands together. “The Devils  _ were _ a household name. You'll need more than sentiment to get people to root for the Riders. You need a face. That's me.”

The thing is that, as much as Jude wants to argue, Zero is right. The sale of season tickets have increased since they announced Zero, their social media has seen a huge spike in visitors. This is great business for them and Jude  _ hates _ it. 

“What makes you think that I want the guy that rejected me to be the face of  _ my _ team?”

Zero has the nerve to smirk, like he's proud of his behaviour. “I don't think you have much of a choice, Jude. Sorry.”

Jude’s pen falls on top of the documents and he clasps his hand together. “Fine. I'm sure Marcus will approve all of this for you. This is all his idea anyway.”

Zero's eyes don't leave Jude's. “Oh, he made it very clear that you objected to my return.”

Jude glares back at him through narrowed eyes. “Yet, here you are.”

“I'm here to be a  _ Rider _ , Jude. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Bullshit,” Jude retorts. “You're here for redemption. Scandal after scandal and yet you always seem to rise above it.”

Jude can't help it. He's still  _ curious _ , still interested in what Zero does because it's hardwired into his brain. He cares no matter how much he tells himself that he doesn't. 

Zero’s shoulders tense visibly and for he looks uncomfortable for the first time since he sat down across from Jude. “That player provoked me, and that's the truth.” 

Jude scoffs with disbelief. “Right and you're such an angel.”

“When it comes to the people I care about, I'm whatever I need to be. The next player that tells me that it's a shame that my 'fag’ boyfriend ruined an entire franchise will get the same treatment.”

The bravado leaves Jude and it's like he's been doused with ice cold water. 

He wasn't expecting  _ that _ to be the reason why Zero instigated a full on brawl. In fact, he never thought that his failure as a team owner would impact Zero in any way. 

“Trash talk is one thing. The guys like to rag on each other and the Devils going under made me an easy target. I took it like a champ, though, until that asshole went too far.”

“Gideon…”

“There are only a few people in this world that I  _ truly _ care about Jude and you're one of them. We might not be together and we might not be friends, but I'll always stand up for you and I'm not going to apologize.”

Jude doesn't know how to respond to that so he does the only thing that springs to mind. 

He signs the paperwork. 

~

With the deal finalised, Zero joins the team's practice sessions while Jude works on adding a few more names to the roster. Zero was right about one thing. The Riders definitely don't scream  _ competitive  _ on paper. 

However, there's still one area where they excel; their world renowned group of dancers. The Devil Girls were a victim of the team overhaul but Jude's spent a lot of money rebranding them too. There are new uniforms, updated facilities and soon there will be whole new group of dancers. 

Sloane Hayes is the last person Jude expected to be speaking to, yet here she is, about to judge the latest tryouts for the newly formed Rider Girls. Zero's also present, along with Debbie Wilson, a former Olympic figure skater that Marcus sent to watch over the proceedings. Jude doesn't even question that; it's not the strangest thing to happen. 

“Why am I here?” Zero gripes loudly. “I know nothing about dancers. Well... nothing about  _ dancing  _ anyway.” 

Jude barely glances at him. “We need someone you have chemistry with. The Jelena to your Terrence if you will.” 

“That doesn't answer my question. You can just pick someone, surely?” Zero's in full on petulant mode, but the beauty of being in a past relationship with him is that Jude immune to it.

This was all laid out in the contract that Zero was so happy to sign. 

Jude flips over the papers in front of him and shakes his head. “Just watch them dance, okay?”

The next two hours pass by with countless dance sequences, a lot of grumbling from Zero and laboured enthusiasm from Sloane. Jude's made a series of notes on each girl, including the one who he thinks is their poster girl.

They deliberate for another hour before they call the girls back in and let all but sixteen of them go. 

Jude leaves Sloane to step forward and do the honours. 

“Congratulations on making it through to this year's Rider Girls team. Now, while you're all very talented, we felt that one of you had all of the qualities we need in a team captain.”

That's basically the polite way of saying that the optics look good. They've chosen a twenty-four year old called Jasmine Matthews. She grew up in Compton, is self-taught and working as a cashier to save money for college. 

She looks good on paper and even better next to Zero. 

~

Zero is renting a spacious condo in the Hills and Jude makes his way there one evening - uninvited. Marcus Douglas plotting away behind his back is one thing, but  _ with  _ a player? That's not on. Jude is here to get the truth once and for all. He knows that they're trying to take the team away from him and maybe he can get Zero to see that  _ he's _ the one who should be in charge. 

He knows that he has what it takes to take the team back to greatness; he just needs someone to give him a chance.

Before he can do that he has to get Zero to actually want to see him.

“It's Jude,” he says into the intercom when he reaches the building. “We need to talk.”

Zero’s wary sigh is audible over the tinny speaker. “I just saw you two hours ago. Oh and there are these things called phones? Ever heard of them?”

Jude exhales slowly and says, “This is important, Zero. Come on.”

There's a long pause and finally Zero buzzes him in. His condo is on third floor and he's waiting in the doorway when Jude steps off the elevator. 

“You know, making a house call is kind of personal,” Zero tells him. “I thought we were keeping it strictly business.”

Jude laughs and steps past him and past the threshold without invitation.

“This isn't a personal call. This is about Marcus Douglas trying to screw me over.”

Those words seem to get through to Zero and the fight leaves him slowly, his shoulders dropping before he shuts the front door. He beckons towards the lounge, flopping down onto the large ottoman and leaving the couch for Jude. 

When Jude is seated, Zero turns to him and says, “I can't help you with that, Jude, and to be honest, I think you're better than this. You're better than a legacy that's already dead. The Devils are done. The thirty year Kinkade reign is over. If you can't accept that,  _ you're _ done.”

Jude leans back into the plush leather. It's not like he doesn't already know this. 

“All I did was do my best, but Jelena left so quickly and I had to deal with Derek going off the rails, new dancers going rogue. Olivia and Chase’s dead daughter. Pete  _ dying _ . German and his bullshit. I didn't get my chance to lead the team properly.”

Zero bites at his lip and shrugs nonchalantly. “You survived all of that  _ and _ you have a brand new team to go with it. I'd say that's a chance. Don't ruin it by dwelling on the past. Marcus likes you. He sees your potential, but this is business, Jude. There's no room for sentiment. You always know what you need to do. So do it.”

This is what Jude has missed over the last few years. Zero's calming influence; his ability to always know the right thing to say. Noah would have laughed at him and told him not to worry so much.  

“You always know the right thing to say…” Jude says softly, hating how vulnerable he feels around Zero. It's like the shell he wears as a suit of armour is cracked and all that's left is his partially broken heart. 

He can see the moment Zero's ease turns into discomfort, but it's better that they have this conversation now and not later when it erupts violently. 

“I really don't, Jude,” Zero says with a dry laugh. “Ruined your proposal didn't I?” 

Jude bites his lip and shakes his head. “No. You did the right thing. I know that you were committed to me -  _ us  _ \- but I knew that you were struggling with the scrutiny. I just wanted this perfect relationship where we dated for a respectable amount of time, got married and lived happily ever after. A fairytale if you will.”

Jude's done a lot of soul searching since he was left standing in their house with a ring box and the fading scent of Zero's cologne. He can see where he went wrong, and that they were  _ both _ to blame for what happened. 

“I know you did and I tried hard to be that guy, but...I could never quite measure up to the idea of who you wanted me to be. I was getting ribbed on court, ribbed by fans and I didn't care because I had you. When you asked me to marry you, I asked myself if I could live with that for the rest of my career and…”

“What?” Jude asks, because it's not like he can take any more hits. He's numb to it all now. 

Zero shakes his head sorrowfully. “I couldn't. It's not that I didn't love you, but...you deserve better than someone who wouldn't put everything before you.”

The change in tense doesn't escape Jude's notice.

~

Being around Zero comes with the rise of certain feelings that Jude typically ignores and he finds himself accepting Lionel's offer to set him up with a date. The guy's called Jack and he's a hedge fund manager. He spends the night bragging about how he was on a yacht with DiCaprio two years ago, like Jude gives a shit. 

They eat overpriced broiled beef with spinach and red wine and Jude's been on enough of these dates to know how it goes. He'll end up following Jack back to his place, they'll have more drinks, engage in perfunctory sex and then he'll sneak out in the morning. 

He decides that he doesn't need any itches scratched and he calls it a night. The thought of a lonely apartment slaps him in the face, like a cold breeze on an icy night. He drives over to the his favourite reflection spot, an abandoned outdoor basketball court where he and Zero would shoot hoops whenever they needed to blow off steam. 

When he gets there, there's a lone figure standing in the dull glow of the faint street lights. 

It's Zero. 

“Don’t you have practise in a few hours?” Jude asks him when he's inside the court. Technically, the players are supposed to adhere to their curfew, but in this day and age, it's futile. Jude pays his players so much money that they're practically lawless. 

If Zero is startled by his presence, he doesn't show it. He just bounces the ball twice and shoots; it hits the rim of the basket and slips through, landing on the concrete with a resounding thud.

Finally, he turns to look at Jude. 

“Don't  _ you  _ know better than to be dressed like that in this neck of the woods?” Zero tells him. He looks Jude up and down. “Let me guess. Hot date?”

Jude glances at his tailored dress shirt and pants; he didn't think about being overdressed.

“Would it bother you if it was?” he says, not appreciating the harshness of Zero's tone. 

Zero double bounces the ball before he shrugs. “You're a grown man. You can do  _ whoever _ you want.”

Jude laughs dryly and rolls up his sleeves. He's not even going to entertain this onean jealousy act that Zero's putting on. 

“Pass me the ball.”

Zero eyes him blankly for a few seconds before he tosses it over. Jude catches it cleanly and holds it to his chest. He should keep things professional and keep the personal drama at bay, but he can't. 

There are so many things that he's itching to know. 

“It bothers me that I don't know much about your personal life since you left,” he admits. “And I looked. There was just nothing. Kinda surprising for a guy who lives his life in the public eye.” 

Zero runs a hand through his hair and looks at the ball. “After what happened with us, I think it was for the best. Not that there was much to report on.”

“Oh?” Jude dribbles past a stationary Zero and shoots, whooping internally when the ball falls through the basket. 

Zero collects the ball and bounces it repeatedly. “I was focused on finding my sister and making up for lost time. We found our mother and... it was this whole thing. I  _ did  _ date someone but we're not together anymore.”

“How did you keep it out of the media?” Jude asks. It's not like Zero is a bench warmer. He's as high profile as they come. 

“She was a fitness instructor. Nice girl. Completely different from me. She was a homebody who hated basketball. She didn't come to events and we didn't go out much. It was good while it lasted, but in the end, we decided to be friends.”

Zero pauses and throws the ball back to Jude before he adds, “What about you? You mentioned someone called Noah? Which is a funny coincidence because there's a writer for Inside Sports called Noah who  _ loves _ to write snarky columns about me.”

Jude throws the ball towards the hoop, but he doesn't need to look to see that he's missed. The last thing he wants to do is talk about Noah with Zero. 

“Noah is an asshole. That's all you need to know.”

~

Two days after the chance meeting at the basketball court, Jude holds a meeting with Zero and Jasmine to discuss their upcoming promotional appearances. Noah is supposed to be dropping by to discuss whatever segment he's producing next and Jude's on edge. Their break up wasn't messy, in fact, before Jude got world that Zero was heading back, he and Noah were in that weird  _ friends with benefits _ space.  

They obviously need to have a conversation, but Jude doesn't know what to say. 

_ I can't sleep with you anymore because the love of my life is back and I'd rather not ruin what  _ **_could be_ ** _ by messing with you? _

“Do you mind if I head out now?” Jasmine asks. “I have a late class and I need to beat the traffic.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Jude says. 

She gives him an appreciative smile before she gathers her items and hurries out of the office. 

Zero watches her wistfully. “We have to make sure that she can balance the Rider Girl stuff with her classes.”

It's such a random statement coming from him that Jude can't help asking, “Why do you care?”

“Everyone needs to back up plan, right? And we don't need another Jelena in our midst. She can't be consumed by the team. It's not healthy.”

Jude snorts, unsure if that's a barb towards him or if Zero genuinely cares. 

“Fine, whatever, I'll look into the sc--”

Before Jude can finish, there's a knock on the door and Noah bursts in. 

“Jude, I need to get a quote on Zer--- _ oh. _ ”

Jude sees the way Zero looks back and forth between them and quickly deduces how much of a bad idea  _ this  _ is. “Noah, not now. I'll call you when we're done here.” 

Zero leans forward, shit eating grin all over his face. “Is this him? Your boyfriend? How sweet. I'm Zero. The guy you replaced.”

Jude can't help grimacing; he knows that he's going to hear about this later. He can picture the aggravating smirk on Noah's face already. 

Noah looks like he's chewing glass, but he responds with some restraint: “Zero. Nice to finally meet you.”

Zero eyes darken into a stormy glare. “I wish I could say the same.”

Noah smiles awkwardly and mumbles something about discussing the segment later. He leaves in silence and Jude wishes there was a hole in floor right now.

Zero scoffs and raises an eyebrow. “He’s not what I was expecting.”

Jude laughs bitterly. “You jealous?”

Zero narrows his eyes and purses his lips. “I could buy his life ten times over. There's nothing to be jealous of. Why? Am I supposed to be?”

Jude blinks and looks away. He doesn't know why he said that. This isn't about making Zero jealous or throwing a relationship in his face. It's about sorting through their issues so that they can both move on. 

“He once told me that he could never love me. I...I have no idea why I listened to him when he said he  _ did  _ love me. Crazy, right?”

Jude doesn't know why he's telling Zero this. Maybe it's his way of saying that Noah isn't a threat; he never was. 

“That's what you do, Jude,” Zero says, with a surprising level of warmth in his tone. “You give people second chances when they don't deserve one. He sounds like an asshole.”

“Like you weren't,” Jude mutters, although, there's a smile forming on his face. 

“Not like him. That guy is smug. He's an opportunist. How did you even meet him?”

Jude's never really told anyone the  _ real  _ story and Noah's not the kind of guy that cares about that. Saying they met at work just made sense. 

“I met him at the grocery store. Lionel was on my case, she wanted me to get over you and under someone else. I wasn't feeling it and I went to buy some cereal, you know, just randomly, and this kid tried to hold up the store.”

“What? Were you hurt?” Zero cuts in before Jude can continue. 

It feels good to  _ see  _ that Zero still cares, although, it leaves him feeling sad at the same time. 

Jude shakes his head. “No, but Noah was. He got shot. Flesh wound. It was my fault, I tried to wrestle the gun from the kid and it went off. I followed him to the hospital and then I made sure he got home safe and...It went from there. The morning after we bumped into each other at the arena.”

Zero almost seems impressed. “Wow, I guess a lot has changed. You make a habit of picking up strange guys in grocery stores?”

“That's not really your business, Zero,” Jude says. “Or should we talk some more about your relationships?”

“We can if you want to. I'm an open book.” Zero goes as far as to extend his hands, but Jude's not buying that for a second. 

Plus, the thought of anyone else being with Zero fills Jude with such a burning intensity that he decides to change the subject. 

~

The first crisis of the season comes two days before the season starts. Jude's watching a practise session when Zero and Terrence start squaring up to each other and yelling. By the time Jude makes it onto the court, Zero's red-faced and Terrence is being restrained by two other players. 

Jude all but frogmarches Zero into the hallway and into what appears to be a janitorial closet. 

“What was that about?” he asks. “What the hell are you doing? Do you know how important this game is for us?”

Zero's frown melts into a laid back smile. “Dude, relax. That was just some theatrics to set the scene for when Terrence benches me on Saturday.”

“What?” Jude splutters. “You need to be starting. That's why we signed you. Why  _ I  _ signed you.”

“I can't for two more weeks. Doctor's orders. I can, however, ensure that there's enough publicity and attention on us that we'll get asses in the seats. That  _ is  _ why you signed me, right?”

Jude starts to protest before he realises that it makes sense. They've only sold eighty percent of their ticket allocation so far and Marcus Douglas isn't happy. Nothing sells quite like scandal. 

“You know, what? Whatever. It's not like I have any real say so anyway. The board can figure it out.”

Zero shrugs in a manner that suggest his disinterest and Jude takes if that the matter is closed. He's about to leave when he suddenly becomes aware of their close proximity. He can smell the sweat drying on Zero's skin and can see the green specks in his eyes. 

“I should go…” Jude says, trailing off when Zero doesn't react. 

Neither of them make an attempt to leave. 

“What are you doing after the game?” Zero asks in lieu of responding. “I'm throwing an opening game party and it would be cool if you'd attend.”

Jude nods. “Sure. Sounds like fun.”

He hopes that he doesn't regret it. 

~

The Los Angeles Riders lose their first official game 108-82 against Houston and the team trots toward the dugout amidst a loud series of boos. Zero lingers briefly to sign some autographs before he follows the rest of the team.

“I thought Zero was supposed to be the white knight of this team,” Noah says from where he's looking down onto the court. 

Jude barely glances at him, unsure how he managed to gain access to the executive box. Probably Lionel given that Jude personal revoked Noah's pass two months ago. 

“I suppose he's not here on merit, though. First, he's back on the team and now he's wormed his way back into your life,” Noah continues, apparently mistaking Jude's silence as a cue to carry on speaking. 

Noah's jealousy is so unnecessary that Jude can't even enjoy it. It just irritates him. 

“Why do you care, Noah?” Jude snaps, lowering his voice just in case anyone is listening. “We're not together anymore and if I'm being honest, we were  _ horrible  _ together _.  _ You treated me like I was disposable and I held on because I was afraid of losing someone else.”

Noah's jaw clenches and his mouth twists into a condescending smirk. “You dropped me pretty damn quickly when Zero rolled back into town. From what you told me, he was no better than I was.”

Jude contemplates his response slowly, turning over the past memories in his brain. He never told Noah the full story, never really told him any of it. With Zero, opening up felt natural. With Noah, it felt like weakness. Like another thing he'd be judged for.

“Zero means more to me than you ever did, Noah, and you know that. It's why you broke up with me, remember?”

Unsurprisingly, Noah doesn't have a response for that. 

~

Zero's party is more low-key than Jude is expecting. There are no half-naked servers and the music is at a respectable volume. When Jude arrives, Zero's standing at the bar with an attractive brunette. Jude feels his stomach tighten, but he makes his way over when Zero gestures towards him. 

“Jude! I'm glad you could make it,” Zero says. “There's someone I'd like you to meet.”

The brunette turns around and the resemblance is uncanny; she has the same blue-green eyes as Zero. 

“Laura?” Jude speaks before Zero can make the introduction. 

“The one and only,” Laura replies with a restrained smile. “Gideon told me to be nice to you.”

Zero's sheepish smile breaks the tension and Jude offers her his hand. 

“I've heard a lot about you. You must be done with school now? Are you visiting from Boston?”

Jude can't help it; he has so many questions. Boundaries or not, no one was more invested in Zero reuniting with his sister than Jude was. 

He's genuinely happy for both of them.

Laura shakes her head. “I followed this one to California. I went through a bad breakup with my ex in Boston. Figured a change of scenery would do me good. Gideon was kind enough to ask me to come along with him.”

They share a look and Jude can't help feeling left out, like there's some secret he doesn't know. 

“That's awesome,” he tells Laura. “This might sound crazy, but I wish I could have been there when you guys reconnected. I know how much it meant to Zero…”

Laura's eyes soften and she places her hand on Jude's shoulder. “It means the world to both of us and apparently, I have you to thank for that. So, thank you.”

Jude nods at her and he's grateful when someone calls Zero away; this conversation is equal parts touching and uncomfortable. 

“Do you still love him?” Laura's question is so direct that it takes Jude by surprise. 

“W-what?”

“Are you still in love with my brother?”

It's a crazy question because the answer will always be yes. There's a part of Jude that will always be in love with Zero. However, they tried and failed to make things work. Treading down the same path won't change that. 

“I don't know.”

Laura raises an eyebrow and shakes her head. “Well. This is the part where I threaten to dismember you if you do anything to hurt him. Like trying to run his life just because he plays for your team.”

Jude casts his mind back to how he proposed to get Zero to stay; remembers how he sabotaged his transfer to New York, which was part of the reason they broke up. He did the same thing to Noah when a job offer from another network came up. 

It all stems back to being left in the dark by Oscar Kinkade when he was a child. The absent father that he idolised. Jude's so used to people leaving that a part of him will do anything to make them stay. 

“I don't think you have anything to worry about,” Jude reassures her. “It's strictly business.”

“Oh, really? Zero is risking permanently damaging his arm to help put this hot mess of a team back on the map. I  _ definitely  _ have something to worry about.”

Jude frowns; he's going to have to contact the medical team about Zero's injury. “What are you talking about?”

Laura clears her throat and glances around the room. “His injury was worse than what was reported and he had this like, super risky, surgery on it. The league helped to suppress how bad it was because he threatened to tell everyone what that other player said.”

Jude isn't surprised that this wasn't disclosed to the Riders before they signed Zero. “Why didn't he just retire then? Why did he come back to LA?”

“Do I really have to spell it out?” Laura says. “Y-O-U, Jude. He came back for you. And after getting to know him these past years, it's about time. He still has a picture of you in his wallet. That's like, old school level corniness.” 

Jude definitely doesn't tell her about the matching picture in his own.

~

Zero's always been a strict professional; he's always needed to be. It's not like he's Jordan or Lebron. He's never been the focal point of a team until now. Jude worries that it's getting to his head when Zero doesn't show for a photoshoot. 

“I thought I said that it would be better if we could do the shoot tomorrow,” Zero says when he finally turns up in Jude's office. “I have a busy schedule and playing make believe with Jasmine isn't on my list of priorities.”

Jude saves the email he's drafting and glances up at Zero. “Jasmine drove all the way down here expecting the shoot to be done. Her time is just as valuable as yours, Zero. In future, you turn up when we tell you to and not a minute later or I  _ will _ start handing out fines.”

For some reason, that seems to set Zero off and he drops his bag forcefully and steps forward. “I'm not your puppet, Jude. I'm not just  _ some _ player, remember? I'm the face.”

Jude throws Zero a dark look. “Marcus Douglas spent two hours laying into me over lunch and then you go and pull a stunt like this?”

Zero looks away and exhales slowly. “I have other things to deal with, Jude. I had to go and get my arm checked out today and you know what? It was good news. So good that I might not need to retire after this season.” 

“Let me see.” 

The words fall from Jude's lips before he can catch them, an involuntary habit from when they were together. Jude would look over Zero's bruises like he could do something about them, but each time he just felt helpless. 

Zero must see something in his eyes because he obliges. Jude can barely blink before Zero pulls off his white polo shirt in one clean sweep. His eyes fall to Zero's bronzed chest and he involuntarily traces the muscle tone of his arms. Jude bites at his lip, not looking away when Zero's eyes land on his mouth.

Time seems to stand still as their eyes meet, melded by an unwavering connection. There's a wiry scar on Zero's right arm, but it doesn't look painful. It's neat and tidy and Jude wonders if it always looked like that.

He stands up from behind his desk and moves around it, stopping briefly when Zero lets his shirt fall to the floor. Part of Jude knows that he should put an end to this before it goes too far. Tensions are running high and one of them needs to be the voice of reason, but... 

...it's not going to be Jude.

He steps closer, fingers outstretched with a burning desire to touch. Zero doesn't stop him and Jude continues to advance, throat convulsing when he finally makes contact with Zero's warm skin, his hand tracing his pectorals slowly.

Jude's eyes meet Zero's and he doesn't see any objection there; he lets his hand travel further. He feels Zero's breathing quicken and he's not surprised when he's pulled in tight and slammed against his filing cabinet. 

Jude leans in and catches Zero's mouth in a kiss before he can do anything else. Zero pulls him in closely, grinding against him as their kiss deepens. Jude feels his lips tingling, but he doesn't pull away, if anything he burrows closer, desperately chasing Zero's taste with his tongue.

Everything spirals from that moment and Jude finds himself in a heap on the floor twenty minutes later, wondering why he seems to get laid in the arena and nowhere else.

Zero's sitting next to him sans shirt with his pants halfway down. There's a blissed out expression on his face that does not match the one of panic on Jude's. 

“Gideon…” 

Jude trails off when he realises that he doesn't know what to say. He's just looking for reassurance, some sign that things aren't completely fucked up. 

Zero drops his head onto Jude's shoulder and releases a shuddering breath. “Do you want to get dinner sometime?”

It's completely unexpected and probably not be great idea, but...

  
...Jude says yes. 


	2. Second Quarter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments so far! <3 I've been working on this since the beginning of the year so I'm happy to be finally posting it. :)

**Second Quarter**

isn.com | Is this how the Rough Riders roll?

_ The Los Angeles Riders have gotten off to a shaky start this season. One win in four games has left a sour taste in the mouths of the fans who have stuck by the team during this rough transition period. Is this fairytale over before it's even started? _

_ Additionally, returning star Zero has been spotted out on the town more times than he's been on the court. His ongoing feud with Coach Terrence Wall has led to questions that he's only in this for the benefits, not to help the team back to success. _

_ Is it unreasonable for us here at ISN to wonder if he's focusing on the wrong kind of riding now that he's back around his former lover, Jude Kinkade?  _

_ More to follow... _

* * *

 

Jude picks up his phone and makes  _ yet _ another phone call. It goes straight to voicemail and he grits his teeth and says, “Do you enjoy hearing these messages? Edit that article and get a life.”

He's not sure why Noah seems to be targeting Zero when there are hundreds of players he could write about. Especially the ones who are actually playing right now. Zero's come off then bench once so far and that doesn't really amount to a meaningful impact. 

Noah drawing attention to the fact that Zero dares to leave his condo and go out like a normal person isn't helping matters. There have been tweets, posts and countless comments about how he's not pulling his weight. That leads to the board calling Jude and telling him to get Zero in line like he's some glorified babysitter. 

Speaking of Zero...their office hook-up at the seems to have kick-started  _ something  _ but Jude doesn't know what they're doing. Right now they're friends and ex-lovers who spend a lot of time together (and make out occasionally). They haven't done more than what went down in his office nor have they actually  _ spoken  _ about it. 

Jude  _ could  _ be the one to initiate a conversation, but he's too anxious. Too scared that voicing things out loud will come with hard questions that he can't answer. 

He decides to go with the flow.

He's fine with hanging out at Zero's place and watching ESPN, fine with ignoring the paparazzi when they show up at the fancy restaurants they go to. He's fine with stumbling along and not knowing when his feet will be steady on the ground. 

~

Unfortunately for Jude, the situation with Noah throws a wrench in his plans to take things one day a time.

“Is there a reason why your boyfriend has such a hard on for me?” Zero asks one evening. They're hanging out at his condo and sprawled on the leather couch together. It's low-key and everything that Jude wants. Although, he senses that the mood is about to sour. 

Zero's been less affectionate than usual and now Jude knows why. 

“I've been asked for a comment on that article at least fifty times today," Zero adds. "Maybe I should have told them to get one from you."

Jude scratches his chin nervously. Noah's passive aggressive articles aren't helping matters at all. Obviously, Noah is trying to get Jude's attention, but it's not going to happen. 

“Just ignore him. That's what I do. Well. After I call him and tell him to cut it out.”

Zero takes a swig of his beer and sighs warily. “That means this is his way of getting your attention.”

Something in the atmosphere changes, but Jude refuses to acknowledge it. There's no way that Noah, of all people, is going to be the one to ruin this.

Jude shrugs innocently. “Maybe.” 

Zero pulls away slowly and casts a contemplative look in Jude's direction. “I think that you and him need to sort through your issues…”

“Like how we are?” Jude asks, immediately changing the subject. “We had sex in my office, you asked me out to dinner and all we've done is hang out since.”

“Did you want to do more?” Zero seems genuinely puzzled and Jude wants to jab him  _ hard.  _

Clearly Zero's happy with this casual arrangement they have, but they are beyond this. Past acting like college students who don't want to put labels on things.

Jude pushes down his frustration and says, “I want us to  _ be  _ more, stupid.” 

Zero swallows audibly. “I do too, obviously, but I think we should just take it slowly and see where it goes. You know. See if we still fit.”

Patience has never been one of Jude's virtues, but... 

He's willing to give it a try. 

~

Two years after Zero and Jude got together, they took a baking class. It was during Jude's  _ sex is not a good hobby  _ phase and Zero appeased him just to get him to shut up. They quit after three weeks, but not before Zero revealed that chocolate cake was his favourite when he was a kid. 

That revelation is what leads to Jude turning his kitchen into a warzone while Laura incorrectly measures out flour. They've been spending more time together now that he's often at Zero's place and this is supposed to be an early surprise for his birthday. 

However, all Laura has done is grill him relentlessly. 

“So, are you guys dating? Keeping it casual, or just straight up deluding yourselves?” Laura asks him. “He came here to prove that he still has what it takes to lead a team and you're supposed to be redeeming yourself. How's that working out for you?” 

“Well, that's not going so well.”

Truth be told, Jude's been going through the motions. He attends meetings, he signs where he needs to and attends the games. There's not much more he can do without rocking the boat. Zero, on the other hand, is playing much better, but he can't carry a weak team on his own. 

“Which part? The team or your relationship?” Laura asks with a perfectly arched eyebrow. 

Jude shrugs his shoulders, suddenly feeling like he's being scrutinised yet again. “Both.”

Jude knows that she's not his ally here and that she's always going to be Team Zero, but maybe she can provide some insight. 

“He wants us to take things slow. Which is nice. I mean, we were together for three years, but I can do slow.” Jude knows that rushing things won't do them any good, but he can't help feeling chagrined. 

Laura eyes him blankly. “Sure sounds like it.”

“It's just that we've wasted so much time. I don't want to waste anymore.”

“You're not. From what Zero told me, you had a tendency to make him do things when you were ready. He did it because he loves you, but it also broke you up. Maybe you need to just find some common ground. Do things on his time for once.” 

Laura's right; in their previous relationship, it was often Jude's way or the highway. Zero came out because Jude didn't want to be a secret. Zero stayed because Jude couldn't leave. Zero left because Jude couldn't accept that he wasn't ready for marriage.

It's one of the things that Jude will always regret - his refusal to compromise. 

“That being said, please tell me that you're planning something special for tonight?” Laura says. “All of this abstinence is making my brother extra cranky. You have my permission to give him some of that good good for one night only.”

Jude wrinkles his nose. “Please never say good good again.”

~

Jude has never really been one for romance mostly due to his inexperience before his first relationship. The grand gestures were Zero's thing and Noah? Noah was all about getting his rocks off. Despite that, he puts his all into making the night special for Zero. There are soft lights, candles, centerpieces, extra cushions and a specially cooked meal. The cake turns out well and all that's left is for him to get dressed. 

By the time he's changed into a baby blue sweater and black dress pants, it's been twenty minutes and there's no sign of Zero. Jude calls him, but it goes straight to voicemail. It only hits him then that he didn't actually tell Zero he'd be stopping by. Maybe he's got some other plans and Jude's just wasting his time. 

Jude is pacing around erratically when the lock turns in the door and Zero appears. Laura happens to still be around and she nods a greeting at her brother before she disappears back upstairs. 

“Jude, what are you doing here?” Zero asks, dropping his keys on the stand in the hallway. There's no embrace, no trace that they're in any kind of relationship and it irritates Jude. Is this really what he wants? To navigate his way out of the friendzone with the guy that's supposed to be the love of his life?

“Just thought we could have dinner for your birthday. So, uh, surprise?” Jude hopes that his voice doesn't betray how he's really feeling. 

There are loud footsteps behind them and Jude looks past Zero to see Laura giving him a discreet thumbs up as she makes her way downstairs. 

When she reaches the bottom, Laura turns to Zero says: “You know, I just remembered that I have to meet somebody, so I'm going to get going. You two have fun now.”

With that, she leaves, closing the door behind her gently. 

“Dude, you didn't need to go to any trouble for me,” Zero says. This time he approaches Jude and kisses him slowly, not once, but twice. 

Jude tries his hardest not to make it awkward, but the words spill out the second Zero steps back. “Is there a reason why you don't come anywhere near me when your sister is around?”

Zero takes a step backwards, his posture visibly stiffening before he answers. “Jude, seriously? Don't start this shit again. Why is that I have to  _ publicly _ be all over you for you to believe that I want you?” 

It's not the first time he's been asked this question and it won't be the last. 

Part of the reason why they broke up was because Zero never came to terms with the amount of scrutiny that came with being an _out_ and proud basketball player. Perhaps Jude was wrong to assume that he was over that. 

Maybe Zero's never going to want to walk down Rodeo Drive hand in hand, or make out with him in Venice Beach. It doesn't mean anything, not really. It  _ shouldn't  _ mean anything. Jude's not going to let his insecurities ruin Zero's birthday.

“I'm sorry. I just think it would be stupid of us to make the same mistakes all over again. If you feel uncomfortable doing stuff in front of Laura just tell me? Don't leave me feeling like  _ I'm  _ the problem.”

“Of course you're not, stupid,” Zero laughs. “I hate that even now you don't see how much I care about you.”

Jude wonders if he ever will. 

~

They have their first  _ major _ disagreement since (sort of) getting back together when Noah releases a segment on Zero's performance statistics since he joined the Riders. The sports blogs and networks run with it and soon there are headlines declaring the entire team a failure.

It's bad enough that Marcus Douglas calls a meeting with all involved parties. They convene in one of the conference rooms at the arena, with Jude sitting at the head of the table like a sitting duck. Zero's present, although, he's clearly not happy about it. His body language is off and he barely glances at Jude when he arrives.

“Marcus is this really necessary?” Lionel says from where she's filing her nails, ostensibly from boredom. “Publicity is publicity and it's not like Zero has been making the headlines  _ on  _ court. Noah was just calling a spade a spade. It could be worse. At least we're talking about the team."

Zero rolls his shoulders back and narrows his eyes at Lionel. “It's a miracle that they even trust you with an entire network when you can't even control  _ one  _ guy. He's your head of creative control, yet he doesn't seem to have many ideas.”

Lionel concedes the point with a nonchalant shrug. “Fair enough. He's still good at what he does. Maybe we need to ask ourselves  _ why  _ he's so fixated on you.”

Jude goes from not really understanding why this warrants a meeting to having every pair of eyes land on him.

“Oh, so this is yet another thing that's  _ my  _ fault?” Jude snaps. “I'm already taking the heat for everything. Does anyone else want to take responsibility for  _ anything _ ?”

Marcus Douglas' nostrils flare with annoyance. “Jude, I understand the difficulty in running this team. Last year this wouldn't even be an issue given that we've had to deal with dead bodies, match fixing, failed drug tests and so on. That was last year. That was the Devils. This year the  _ Riders _ need to just make it through without any scandal.”

Jude shakes his head in disbelief. “I don't control what Noah does. He's not even a Riders employee. It's out of my control.”

“He's got an office in this building,” Marcus says blankly. “It's entirely in your control.” 

Jude looks at Lionel, who is clearly annoyed that she's been dragged into this. When it comes to business, she always puts her personal feelings aside so he already knows what her stance will be on this.

Lionel checks her watch and says, “I have to say that I agree with Marcus for once. This is obviously a personal issue that you need to sort out. Maybe he's salty that you stopped sleeping with him when Zero came back into the picture.”

On one hand, Jude could  _ kill  _ Lionel for spilling his secret, but on the other, he's had ample time to tell Zero and he couldn't. He can't even be mad at her for doing something he's been too cowardly to do. 

Zero's been zoned out for the past three minutes, but Jude sees the exact moment he hears what Lionel says. He watches Zero's throat convulse and he knows that everything is about to blow up. 

“I didn't know about that,” Zero says. His tone is passive, but his eyes are where the story lies. He's  _ pissed  _ and Jude knows he's firmly dropped himself in it this time. 

“I think maybe Lionel and I should go,” Marcus adds swiftly. “Zero, I think you're an asset to the team both on and off field. I'm confident that you'll turn things around.”

He departs quickly, barely sparing Jude a second glance. Lionel lingers briefly, leaning in to say her goodbyes. 

“I’m sorry, Jude,” she murmurs in his ear. “It's better to have this out now rather than later.” 

Once she's gone, Jude's stuck facing a visibly angry Zero. The lingering scent of Lionel's perfume sticks to his throat and he tried to swallow past it. 

“So, you didn't break things off with Noah before you and I…” Zero trails off; his jaw clenched so hard that he can no longer get the words out.

Jude frowns. “There was  _ nothing  _ to break off. It's not like we were in a relationship. It was no strings attached fun.”

“Were you seeing anybody else?” Zero's question is direct and Jude know he can't talk himself out of this. 

Yet, he attempts to anyway. 

“No,” Jude says, “bu--”

Zero cuts him off and adds, “Was  _ he  _ seeing anybody else?”

Jude wishes he could shrug it off and say that he doesn't know, but he's Jude Kinkade, he made it his business to know. 

It turns out that he  _ really  _ doesn't like sharing.

Zero stands up and makes a point of pushing his chair in with such vigour that the large boardroom table shakes. “I think we're done here. You can tell Noah to post that, too. This time I'll even give him a quote.”

Jude is left sitting in an empty room wondering how he's found himself in this position yet again. 

~

The Riders play Cleveland two days after the meeting and Zero has a surprisingly good game. Highest scoring points, including a last minute dunk that has the fans jumping up and down in the stands. It's certainly the best way to snuff out the chatter generated by Noah's petty hit piece. 

Speaking of Noah, shortly after the climax of the game, Jude leaves the executive box quickly and heads over to the Inside Sport Network suite on the other side of the arena. He finds Noah in the control room and calls him outside. The last thing he needs is for one of Noah's lackeys to film their conversation and upload it online.

“Took you long enough to show your face,” Noah says when they reach his office. 

Jude narrows his eyes. “Congratulations. You got what you wanted. Zero and I are done.”

Noah laughs but there's no joy in it. “That's all it took? Fluff pieces and a segment that wasn't even my best work. Touchy, touchy.”

Jude rubs a hand over his face and sinks down onto one of the plush leather armchairs in Noah's office. He remembers being there when the movers brought them in, can vividly recall how excited he was that they'd get to see more of each other now that Noah was in a senior position. 

This isn't Noah's fault, he had that realisation days ago when Zero wouldn't return his calls. When the pain in his chest hurt that much more because he had no one to blame but himself. 

“Noah... I'm sorry for not having a conversation with you when Zero came back. Even if we weren't  _ in  _ a relationship, clearly, we had unfinished business and it wasn't fair of me to just jump into another situation.”

“You know, I don't  _ hate  _ Zero, I just don't get what it is about him,” Noah says. “I never did. Never will. On paper, he's kind of terrible. In reality, he's not even terrible in an interesting way. He's just your average player. They always have a story. They always have the same shiny lives. It feels like I spent the whole time we were together trying to live up to him and in reality, he's just any other guy. Yet, you ran straight back to him.”

“Noah, I'm sorry…”

Noah shrugs. “You know, it's funny. I never really got the whole concept of placeholder relationships before, but...I do now.”

In the space of two days, Noah becomes the second person to walk away from him. 

~

Jude's never really had many friends and now that he's in his thirties, that definitely hasn't changed. So he takes three personal days and drives down to Orange County to see his mother. It's been a while since they've seen each other, but they're close. He calls her a few times a week and she sends him a daily email. He never really told her much about Noah, and he's definitely not said anything about rekindling his relationship with Zero. However, she's still his mom. Talking to her always helps.

“Ah, if it isn't my only son,” she says when she opens the door. “Didn't I give you a key five years ago?”

Jude raises an eyebrow as he steps over the threshold. “Yeah, and I gave you a baseball bat to use if anyone ever just walks in here without knocking.”

Jude’s probably being overly cautious; it is a gated community after all. His mom is relatively safe here. 

“So, anyway, out with it," she says. "I hate to be  _ that  _ mom, but you only come to visit me when you have a problem that you can't fix.” 

“After everything that you kept from me, do you blame me?” Jude hates that his tone is abrasive, but Zero leaving isn't the only family issue he's had to deal with. 

Jude's mom, Susan, was only twenty-two when she had him. Back the she was basking in the glow of being Oscar Kinkade’s second wife. It may be cliché, but his mom was basically his best friend while he was growing up and in many ways, she still is. No matter what they go through, he's always going to need her. 

“Zero and I got back together,” Jude tells her before he ass touches her pristine leather couch. “It wasn't planned, it kind of just happened. We just fell into old habits without talking and now everything is all messed up.”

Susan joins him on the couch, leaning in to tuck a floppy strand of hair from Jude's eyes. “Gideon strikes again. You know, I still don't see what it is about him that you like so much. He's cocky, too pretty and from what I've seen in the past few seasons? Vastly overrated.” 

Jude scratches his chin uncomfortably. His mom and Zero never did see eye to eye. She was judgemental and overprotective and Zero was always too busy pretending that he didn't care what she thought. 

“I still have feelings for him,” Jude admits quietly. “Even after everything. Not that it matters. I messed things up.”

Susan scoffs in response. “I doubt that. What did you do? Rightly call him out on his bullshit?”

“No... I sort of didn't end things with my ex properly. I just hopped back to Zero and then Noah got mad about it and wrote some mean spirited articles. It's just so messed up. I guess I didn't really see the need to because…”

“You wanted to keep your options open because you have a deep fear of ending up alone,” Susan says. “It's the Kinkade way. It's also the fastest way to truly end up alone.”

Jude stares at her hopelessly. “What do I do, mom?’

“If you and Zero and meant to be - it'll happen naturally. Don't force it. Don't run to him. Let him go if he wants to go. Focus on being enough for  _ you,  _ Jude. On getting your team back. On being happy.”

~

There are two seconds left on the clock and Murphy dribbles past a San Antonio player and hooks the ball over to Zero who executes a smooth turn and throws the ball into the net. It hits the linoleum just as the whistle sounds. 

It's another win for the Riders, but Jude feels hollow inside. Zero's been talking to him during meetings and team endorsement negotiations only. There's been nothing personal, not even so much as a text message. Jude's finally at the end of his rope, so he waits for the players to head into the locker room before he follows them and calls Zero out. There are a few wolf whistles that die down with one swift look from Zero. 

“Great game today,” Jude says, giving Zero a congratulatory pat on the shoulder. 

Zero points at the locker room door. “You could have said that in there.”

Jude shrugs, “Yeah, but I couldn't have said that I missed you and that I'm sorry. Even if we can't move past this, I'd like it if we can be friends.”

Zero eyes him warily. “Friends?”

“Yeah. Like we were the first time you signed for the team.”

Zero’s eyes soften and Jude holds back from breathing a sigh of relief. 

“What about Noah?” Zero asks. "Did you sort things out with him?"

“Noah was my fault. I didn't even think to...I just...I haven't been myself for a while now and with everything happening with the team, I just needed to feel like I was in control. Yet, all I've done is spiral. Noah...Noah stopped me from screwing the guy who came to fix my cable or the bartenders in the Playground…”

Zero glances around the hallway and then his eyes center back on Jude. “You don't need to explain yourself to me. I wasn't mad about Noah, not really. I was... mad at  _ us.  _ We can't just get back together and  _ hope _ it'll work. That's not fair on either of us.”

Jude isn't sure how he feels about that, but it sounds like they'll get past this eventually.

“Friends?” Jude says. 

Zero shakes his head and grins. “Friends.”

~

Zero's form improves so much that he lands himself a GQ spread. The only stipulation is that they want Jude to be a part of it. This is something that Zero's agent, Mel, is less than happy about. 

“Look, I love a good love story, but you guys don't have a good love story. Zero went from dating the hottest NBA cheerleader to boning the owner's dorky son. Blah, blah, LGBT, blah, blah. That was great then. Now? We need something new.”

Jude glances down at the details and pretends that her description of their relationship doesn't sting. “ _ They _ want to go for the Power Couple angle. It would bring us a ton of publicity.” 

Mel rolls her eyes. “Sure it would, Romeo. If you were actually a power couple. Right now, you're not. Do you really want to open yourself up to scrutiny and having to  _ act  _ like you're in a relationship?”

Zero glances up at that comment, but he doesn't offer any of his own. He rarely does during these meetings. It would piss Jude off if it didn't remind him of the days when he was in Mel's position. Fighting for Zero's best interests. The major difference is that Mel is no pushover; she keeps her foot firmly wedged in Zero's ass. 

Mel reaches over and yanks Zero's cell phone from his hands.

“You can chime in now, Mr Hotshot," she says. "It's your call. Are you happy with this?”

Zero glances at Jude before he says, “I don't see how having Jude be a part of this is a bad idea.”

Mel’s eyes widen comically. “Which Jude? Jude Law? The Jude in Hey Jude? Some other Jude that the general public actually cares about?”

“Ouch,” Jude says, although, she's got a valid point. For all of the public scrutiny, he barely has any media presence in his own right. He's mainly known as the beleaguered owner of the Los Angeles Riders, and his Wikipedia page doesn't even have a picture on it. 

Zero doesn't back down, much to Mel's chagrin. “Jude needs to prove to the board that he has what it takes to run this team long term. That means he needs to get the fans onboard. Some good publicity in his own right will go a long way. I'll even do the whole shoot  _ with _ him to get it to sell.”

Mel looks at Jude closely and says, “I suppose that could work. Something steamy and hot, but classy at the same time. Fine. I'll call GQ back.”

Zero face slowly morphs into a grin and Jude wonders what he's getting himself into. 

~

Jude finds himself in his and Zero's old house two weeks later. Their old master bedroom has been transformed into some kind of makeshift bodega and Zero is currently posing for a selection of photographs. Mel is Facetiming her husband as she oversees the process. 

“Steve, my parents are coming over  _ tonight  _ not tomorrow. I'm sure you knew that, right? This is what? The fifth time you've gotten the days mixed up…”

Jude smiles while they bicker back and forth. He can't help looking over at Zero, who catches his eye and gives him a goofy smile. Before Jude can return it, the photographer's assistant pulls him aside. 

“Okay, so, we have to get you set up for your shoot. We're going to keep in simple. You'll be in the office. We'll do shots of you sitting and standing and then in the afternoon, it's back here for your joint shoot with Zero.”

Jude answering nod is laboured; he can't wait for this day to be over and it's barely even started. 

~

The shoot runs into the evening and Jude is absolutely exhausted. 

The photographer has a sudden idea, but Mel has to approve it first. When she's back from the impromptu meeting, she looks unsure of herself. 

“So, this Annie Leibovitz wannabe has some genius idea and... well, I think it'll certainly get people talking…”

Zero raises his eyebrows. “Go on? I have practise early tomorrow and we've been at this all day.”

“The bathroom selfie,” Mel blurts out. “They want to recreate it. It'll be super artsy. Bubbles covering everything or whatever. They want you to like, hold up your phone and everything, but you don't  _ have  _ to.”

It's an interesting idea and from a business standpoint, it would definitely get tongues wagging. The original picture ended up being  _ huge  _ for them and this is the era of nostalgia and recreation. 

However, Jude remembers that day all too well and how it became part of a bigger issue in their relationship. The obsessive focus that the media had on their relationship - specifically Zero's presence in it. 

“I don't think that's a good idea,” Jude announces. “I think we should stick with the original plans.”

“I'm game.” 

Both Mel and Jude turn to look at a decidedly unfazed Zero. 

Mel reacts first. “Really? You're game with posing naked with your ex-boyfriend for the whole world to see?”

Zero shrugs. “Fuck it. Why not?”

Jude jumps in quickly before someone turns up to yank his tie off. “I can't pose naked. Marcus Douglas would kill me.”

“Well, you don't have to," Zero says, scrunching his face the way he does when he's deep in thought. Maybe that can be part of it. You're all straight laced and business minded and I'm the super relaxed player. Yin and yang.” 

Mel stops chewing on her pen long enough to say, “That actually doesn't sound too bad.”

“Well, then, let's get to it,” Zero says. “I'm  _ starving. _ ”

~

Jude finds Zero genuinely soaking in the tub when the crew finally pack out. It's been years since he's stepped foot in this house, yet it feels like so many other instances before. 

Jude was always more of a shower guy, but Zero has a thing for baths. When Jude asked why, the answer was poignant - they were a luxury he'd never had as a kid. 

“So, this is weird, right?” Jude says. He leans on the ledge of the doorway. “The entire day has been surreal.”

Zero snorts gently. “Actually, I thought it was all pretty cool. When we were together, we never really  _ did  _ things together. You were busy with the team, I was busy with the team. Vacations were... well, you know what they were. Today was... _ nice _ .” 

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with the real Zero?” Jude asks, because from agreeing to the bathroom shoot to  _ reminiscing  _ this isn't the Zero he knows. 

“I've just had a lot of time to think about everything. How it got so messed up. How much I put you through. This house…the trade to New York. Not fully accepting our relationship and what came with it. That... girl.”

Jude tenses at that. It was the beginning of the end for them. The stripper that claimed she was pregnant with Zero's baby. It turned out to be a lie, but things were strained for a while. 

“You seem okay with everything now. In fact, you seem to be in touch with your feelings more than you ever were with me.”

Zero shifts slightly, jostling the foamy bubbles in the tub.“I hold things in and that's always going to be me. However, I'm trying to get ahead of it. Trying to not let my emotions hold me back. I'm work in progress.”

Jude smiles. “We all are.”

~

Lionel hangs onto every word when Jude gives her the lowdown on the photoshoot. 

“What happened after that? Tell me you got back into the tub with him and did something. Anything?”

Jude glares at Lionel. “How many times? We're just friends. Friends who have meaningful conversation.”

Lionel groans loudly. “I'm on a ninety day celibacy pact. If I can't at least live vicariously through you, I'm going to go nuts. Just admit that you're both  _ stupid  _ for each other and stop wasting time.”

Jude snorts at her theatrics. “We agreed to be friends. That's all.”

Lionel groans loudly and takes a large sip of her wine. “I thought Pete was the love of my life and I let him go. He found love and it was bye bye bye. I always just thought he'd make his way back to me, but you saw how that worked out.”

“I'm not following,” Jude tells her. "What does that have to do with me and Zero?"

Lionel and Pete were a clusterfuck of epic proportions and he resents any comparisons (even if she's only trying to help). 

“I'm saying that you don't want to wake up one day and see Zero with someone else right in front of your face.” 

“That's not…” Jude trails off at Lionel's knowing look. “Well, if he does find someone, I'd just have to deal with it.”

Lionel shakes her head sadly. “Ask yourself one question, Jude. Would you forgive yourself if  _ had  _ to deal with it?”

Jude doesn't need to think about it. 

The answer is  _ hell  _ no. 


	3. Third Quarter

**Third Quarter**

isn.com | Zero Rides To The Top

_ Los Angeles Riders small forward Zero has gone from old timer to high flyer this season. Can he keep up his hot streak or will his engine run out of steam? _

* * *

Jude clicks out of the article and climbs out of his car. He was worried when the alert came through, but it's just a standard article. He's thankful that he doesn't need to make a call this time. He makes his way towards Zero's condominium complex, slipping in when someone exits through the main door and taking the elevator up to the third floor.

After deliberating for several minutes, Jude takes a deep breath and finally knocks on Zero's door. It opens instantly and Laura's irritated face is on the other side. Her expression changes to relief when she realises that it's Jude.

“I thought you were the annoying lady from downstairs bringing more cookies. Ugh. I hate her. Anyway, I have to go. See you later." 

With that she grabs her keys and leaves through the open door before Jude can respond. Initially, he found her abrasive, but he's come to realise it's just the way she is. If anything, he wishes he was more like her. 

Luckily for Jude, Zero arrives moments later. He smiles when he sees Jude standing in his doorway. Jude waves the Blu-ray disc collection he'd come over with. They're still  _ friends  _ but to Jude that's fine. He'd rather they be friends together than friends who never see each other. 

Jude clears his throat and says, “I brought my  _ Fast & Furious _ collection over. Thought we could watch them and, uh, hang out. If you want."

Zero laughs and all but pushes Jude inside, shutting the door behind him. “Dude, it's me. Why are you acting like a sixteen year old on their first date?”

_...because you make me nervous,  _ Jude thinks, although, he doesn't voice it. 

“I wasn't sure if you'd be in the mood.”

Zero flashes another grin at Jude. “I'm  _ always  _ in the mood for fast cars, Jude. Always.” 

By the time they're on the fifth movie, Zero's stretched out on the couch dozing off, head lolling to one side as he snores softly. Jude forgets about the movie; it's just Vin Diesel blathering on about family or whatever. He traces the shape of Zero's face with his eyes all while wondering if it still feels the same under his fingertips. 

These are the nights he's missed the most; chilling with Zero and just  _ being.  _ No lights, no cameras, no questions, just them. He thinks about what Lionel said about time not waiting for them and he thinks about the feeling in his gut that's screaming for him to wait and see how things pan out.

He decides to go with his gut. 

~

“Got a call from Marcus Douglas,” Zero says into the quietness. Jude doesn't look up from his laptop screen because he's done jumping through hoops for Marcus Douglas. He's been putting out fires all season, what's one more? He has better things to focus on. 

They're in his office going over the details on Zero's scholarship fund for the dancers. Jude is looking to get it in place before the next board meeting just so he can smile in their faces when they try to question his ability to do his job.

“Oh?” Jude says, making another note on the document. “What did he want?”

“I think he wanted a progress report," Zero says. "He claimed he was filling me in because I'm technically a minority shareholder now, but he asked a lot of questions about you."

Jude takes a deep breath, exhales slowly and deletes an unnecessary comma. He's not going to allow anyone to make him second guess himself anymore. 

"They want to see me fail," he tells Zero, "probably because having the name Kinkade linked to the team will always raise eyebrows."

It's true. Oscar didn't exactly leave a good impression when he was forced out. Maybe that's part of why they're so hard on Jude. He's not here on merit  _ and  _ he's the son of the guy that screwed them over due to his greed and ambition.

Zero shrugs, the way he does when he thinks Jude is being irrational. "Screw them."

“Anyway, GQ are throwing a huge party for the release of our issue." Zero switches gears before Jude can go into panic mode. "Wanna go and get something to wear? My treat.”

Jude wrinkles his nose; shopping for new clothes isn't his idea of a good time. “I'm sure I have something suitable at home.” 

Zero tilts his head to one side and grimaces slightly. “Really? I seem to remember you showing up to present an award at the ISN Awards a few years back looking like a hot mess. You  _ definitely _ need some guidance.”

That was been Noah's doing (sort of) and while Jude stands by the sentiment, he still cringes when he thinks about it. Back then, standing before millions of people in a rain soaked suit was  _ big  _ for him. 

Jude looks up at Zero slowly. “That was a romantic gesture, but I'm still single so you can see how well it worked out for me.”

Talking romance or anything linked to relationships is like going down a slippery slope, yet, Jude is curious to see Zero's reaction. They're still dancing around each other and playing the world's slowest came of catch. 

Jude is just dangling some bait. 

Zero's smile dims slightly, but it's still there. “Did it work out at the time? Cause I'm not seeing how that worked in your favour? There are rehearsals and strict dress codes for those things."

Jude wants to argue, but he's right. Marcus Douglas chewed him out for his sloppy appearance and he was a common highlight in all of the negative reviews that particular award show got. 

Twitter  _ loved  _ it, though. 

“Like you can talk," Jude fires back. "You weren't exactly big on romance when we were dating. Remember that year you got me a potted plant?” 

Zero seems taken aback, his eyes widening before he defends himself. “You said that you needed something to spruce up your office. I thought it was cute.”

“Zero, it was an artificial plant,” Jude deadpans. "I already had  _ three  _ of them in my office. Did I really need another?"

“Yeah, because you probably would have killed a real one,” Zero shoots back. “Besides. The flashier the gesture, the bigger the backfire potential. Everybody know that."

Jude narrows his eyes and cocks his head to one side. “Oh please. Name me one flashy gesture that backfired on  _ you. _ ”

“I once hiring John Legend to play during dinner. She loved it, but I hated every single second and it showed. Particularly when I took a phone call halfway through  _ Ordinary People. _ He wasn't happy. Words were exchanged. The evening was ruined."

Jude can only imagine Zero barely attempting to hide his eye rolls as John Legend segues into 'All Of Me’.  

“You should have gone with Michael Bublé," he says, hiding a smile at Zero's disgusted expression. 

“I would but between you and me? His prices are pretty steep.”

“When it comes to love, there's no such thing as too much,” Jude retorts, except, he's not really joking anymore. He's being serious and he's wondering why he even clarified his appearance at the award show. Why he's opened Pandora's box after they both worked so hard to close it. 

“Well then, I guess that it wasn't love.”

Zero says the words so flippantly that Jude can't tell if there's a hidden meaning. Is he saying that he wasn't  _ in  _ love with his ex, or is he just being Zero?

It's hard to tell and that bothers Jude. 

~

Zero's idea of shopping is visiting  a high end boutique and have his friend and up and coming designer, Javier, take their measurements and handpick outfits for them. It means they don't have to shop around aimlessly, but Jude was looking forward to them spending time together  _ alone.  _ Especially after the way their conversation ended. 

Javier is... well, he's overbearing. From tousling Jude's hair to calling him adorable every five minutes, he's the living embodiment of a nightmare. 

Plus, Jude isn't adorable, he's a thirty-three year old man with far too many stress lines.

“Seriously, Zero, why have you never brought him here before? He's even cuter in person!” Javier is about to go in for his seventh hair tousle when his cell phone goes off and he stops to answer it. 

The call is brief and when he's done, he turns back to them and says, “That was Chadwick Boseman's people. He needs a last minute outfit for something and I have to get over there now. Don't worry, I'll have my assistant get you some stuff and we'll finalise everything later okay?”

With that, he disappears quickly leaving Jude to breathe a huge sigh of relief. His hair has been handled so much that he swears he can feel the ghost of Javier's fingers on his scalp. 

“Well, he's right about one thing,” Zero says with a cheesy grin. “You  _ are  _ adorable.”

“Yeah, and you just got blown off for Chadwick Boseman?" Jude sidesteps the  _ adorable  _ comment because they're just friends. Zero's just being friendly and he doesn't need to read into every single thing.

Zero takes a sip of his complimentary champagne and leans back in his seat. “Oh, I know. When I bring it up to Javier later, he'll be so distraught at  _ potentially  _ losing me as a client that he'll give me something for the pain and suffering I endured. It's a win win situation for both of us.”

Before Jude can respond, one of Javier's assistants emerges with a rail holding three outfit selections for both of them. Jude instinctively goes for the safe option - a black tuxedo with slim fit slacks.

"Dude, really? Do you always have to pick the safest option?" Zero calls him out on it straight away and Jude turns back to him and shrugs. 

"Fine, you pick one." 

“Go with the olive green suit,” Zero says. "I'll still buy you the boring tux, but you never know. You might actually like the way another colour looks on you." 

"I can pay for my own clothes," Jude says. Most of his money is tied up with the team, but that doesn't mean he can't make a lavish purchase every now and then. He just chooses not to.

"This is my treat, okay? Shut up and go and try the green suit."

Jude grudgingly obliges, but he secretly loves the way Zero's pushing him out of his comfort zone. 

At least until he's in the suit and wondering what he was thinking. The colour suddenly seems too light and he feels uncomfortable, like he'd be drawing too much attention to himself if he wore it in public. 

"Are you decent?" Zero's voice sounds from outside the changing area. "Let's see what it looks like."

Jude steels his nerves and steps outside, bracing himself for laughter. 

"I look like the Joker,” he remarks dryly. "And... here... we...go."

Zero looks exasperated and Jude bites his lip nervously; he knows that he's being ridiculous, but he can't help it. 

"Jude, you look amazing. You always do without trying. You know what that means? You'll be a knockout when you actually put effort into looking good." 

There's a part of Jude that's always felt inferior when it comes to Zero. Zero is six foot one of pure bronzed muscle and classic good looks, compared to Jude's lily white skin and gangly frame. 

"I guess I have no choice to believe you. You were a runner up for  _ People's Sexiest Man Alive _ once. Clearly, you're the expert." 

"That and I happen to think you're  _ adorable _ ," Zero retorts, leaning into to tousle Jude's hair. Jude bats his hands away playfully and tries to smooth down his curls. 

He ignores the way his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. 

~

In the end, Zero buys all three outfits for both of them and he starts oohing over dress shoes even though they all look the same. Eventually, he settles on a pair and they leave with several large bags. 

Once Zero's assistant swings by to pick up their outfits and drop them off at his condo, they grab dinner at a nearby restaurant. It's an Italian place and Jude's so relaxed that he lets Zero order for him. 

"Are you feeling okay?" Zero asks him when the waiter vanishes with their order. "Do I need to call an ambulance? You're the pickiest eater I know. You once told me that I had a questionable and unrefined palate.”

Jude leans back in his seat and brushes a loose curl from his eyes. "Sometimes you have to go wild and try something new, right? If I can do this... Talk to GQ and get into a bathtub with a naked player, I can broaden my horizons food-wise, right?" 

Zero's ensuing chuckle is light and laced with amusement; somehow it's the best thing that Jude's heard and he feels it vibrate right down to his toes. Thankfully, the topic of discussion changes to basketball matters before Jude can melt into a puddle of lust. They talk about the team, mainly about Terrence and how he's actually doing a good job. 

That somehow turns into Zero voicing his concerns about Laura and how he's worried that bringing her to L.A. might not have been the best idea. They talk so much that Jude loses track of time only remembers he's got an early flight to catch when Zero brings up a funny incident that happened at a morning practice session. 

Moments before they get the check, Zero reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small pouch. He slides it across the table and it lands next to Jude's hand. 

“Got this for you,” Zero says, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. Jude's known Zero long enough to see that he's anxious or nervous about something. He reaches for the pouch and pulls the drawstring open. 

A small pair of motorcycle shaped cufflinks fall into his palm. 

“They're supposed to be Riders cufflinks, you know, new era and all of that,” Zero adds when Jude simply stares at them wordlessly. 

“You didn't have to get me anything,” Jude says, feeling his face heating up when his eyes meet Zero's. "You've already spent a lot today."

Zero shrugs nonchalantly. “I wanted to. Actually, I've had them all day, I just didn't know  _ how  _ to give them to you. It's not like this was ever our thing. I got you that plastic plant, remember?”

“I really appreciate it, Gideon,” Jude tells him. “Thank you. For everything. I know that I wasn't keen on you coming back here, but…the team wouldn't be where it was without you.”

Zero's mouth curls into a grin and Jude braces himself for an audacious remark. “Well, I  _ did  _ tell you that you'd need me.” 

“Yeah,” Jude says, “you did.”

~

When Jude is back from his business trip, he stops by Lionel's house. It's partly to check in on her and partly to discuss the broadcast rights for the upcoming home games. They don't spend as much time together now that Inside Sports Network is the second biggest rated sports network and she's actually busy working. Or whatever she does. Jude's still not too sure what that is, but it makes her a lot of money. 

Naturally, Lionel seems more interested in what's happening with him and Zero than discussing business matters. Jude does his best to get her up to speed; it's not like he has anyone else to talk to about this.

Lionel practically coos when Jude tells her about the cufflinks. “So, after he gave you that adorable gift, you just grabbed your bags and went home? There was no kissing or feeling him up in the bathroom? Nothing?”

Jude is starting to think that Lionel's celibacy pact is a terrible idea. Considering that she was once in a relationship with German  _ and  _ Chase Vincent’s daughter, that's saying a lot. 

“We're just friends," Jude says yet again. At this point, he's not sure who he's trying to convince. Clearly, they're  _ not  _ just friends. They're in that space between friends and lovers, like a raft anchored to the bottom of the ocean.

Lionel scoffs and swats him gently. “Yeah, cause  _ friends _ pick out each others clothes and buy each other things.”

Jude blinks at her. “Do you  _ even  _ have friends?”

“You know I don't,” Lionel snaps. “Gosh, this whole celibacy pact is making me crazy. I think I might have a serious problem. Do you know any good sex therapists?”

Jude's eyes widen to the point of pain and he fires off a quick text to Zero. Clearly, coming here directly from the airport was a mistake and he needs to be bailed out  _ immediately _ . 

~

Zero's waiting outside Lionel's house when Jude finally escapes. He's standing by an obnoxious Acura ZDX and while Jude's never been one for fancy cars, he isn't even sure why Zero  _ owns  _ it, much less drives it. Just because Acura sponsor the team, it doesn't mean any Riders players or staff should be seen in their vehicles. 

“What?" Zero says when sees Jude's disdainful expression. "I figured that you'd need a discreet getaway.” 

Jude eyes the car. “Yeah. Maybe something like a Prius would have been better.”

Zero shudders and pulls a face. “Like I'd be caught dead in one of those. Plus, shouldn't you be happy that I'm actually driving this thing? If we get papped, they'll probably give the team more money."

"Please don't jinx it," Jude says. "Or I'll make you the face of our Acura deal."

Zero holds his hands up in defeat. "My lips are sealed."

They make the drive back to Jude's apartment in relative peace after discussing Lionel's life crisis. It's not bad, but Jude wonders if they  _ should  _ be talking. About themselves, about  _ feelings _ . Even about the team. What if comfortable silence is just a means to an end and one day, they both get tired of not needing to say anything?

Or maybe he's just being dramatic. He  _ did  _ just fly back into town and spend hours with Lionel. It's not like he has the energy to carry a conversation. Still, that part of him that wants to tell Zero everything on his mind hasn't gone away.

“Jude, we're here,” Zero says, his tone patient the way it is whenever Jude zones out. “I have an early meeting tomorrow so I have to jet, but maybe we can get lunch afterwards and check out the article?"

Jude can't believe it's finally coming out. It's not his first magazine spread yet it's the only one that matters. This isn't some bimonthly business magazine that requires a subscription, this is a national publication that's going to be everywhere. 

This is  _ huge.  _

"Hey, don't freak out," Zero says. He extends his arm and squeezes Jude's knee gently. "I'm sure it's going to be great.”

"Uh, yeah. Sure." Jude's ability to speak dies when he feels the warmth of Zero's hand seeping through his pants. 

"Are you game for lunch?" Zero asks. “I know a place that does really good burritos if you're still up for living dangerously and trying new things.”

His hand is still on Jude's leg which is another question in itself. Does this mean something? Would it be weird if Jude covered Zero's hand with his own? Can Zero hear the way his heart is pounding in his chest?

"Jude?"

Jude snaps out of his internal meltdown and shakes his head slowly. "Sorry. I can't. I have a lunch appointment with the league. I can't miss it. I'll call you, though, and we can talk about it then."

Zero looks disappointed but he shrugs it off. 

~

_ GQ.com | Zero x Jude _

_ written by Bea Hyeways.  _

_ When I sat down to begin this piece, it was originally about Zero. His rise and fall. His journey across the country in different teams. His background. It should be a story that many have covered before, but it isn't. Zero's been a mainstay in the NBA for almost ten years, yet we don't know much about him.  _

_ We don't even know his last name.  _

_ There was, of course, his public relationship with current team owner, Jude Kinkade, but even that fizzled out into nothingness. Yet, as I spoke to both men, I realised that there  _ **_was_ ** _ a story there. One about someone who holds his cards to his chest and another person who just wants to be seen.  _

_ Together, Zero and Jude are an odd pair. They don't work on paper and they shouldn't really work IRL, but there's no mistaking the obvious chemistry between them which begs the question... are they the true power couple of the NBA, or is this a romance that's merely stumbling along? _

Jude spends half an hour reading through the article. There's a decent amount of coverage given to the team itself and their community outreach and the scholarship fund. However, most of it is the whimsical ramblings of the author who seems to be to have a disturbing obsession with 'Zude’. 

_ I keep on silently wishing for Jude to gaze at Zero longingly or vice versa, but all I see is respect and admiration. At the very least, they have a solid friendship. In this world of scandal, scrutiny and uncertainty, maybe that's all that matters.  _

He keeps scanning the article until he reaches the portion that focuses on him. 

_ Jude Kinkade strikes me as the kind of man that is led by ambition. From rising through the ranks as a sports agent to rising from executive vice president of operations to team owner, no one can deny that he's had a meteoric rise for someone that's only thirty-three years old. Yet, Jude seems to downplay his achievements.  _

_ According to his longtime friend, Lionel Davenport, this isn't uncommon.  _

_ “That's Jude, you know? He always wants to he better, but he never stops to see just how good he is already.”  _

_ When I ask Lionel why that is, her face takes on a sad expression. She hesitates before adding, “Jude's spent much of his life wanting recognition from the wrong people. That can break the best of us. Especially when those people don't give a damn.” _

_ Lionel's comments are echoed by Zero who was surprisingly candid about his relationship with Jude. When I ask him about Jude's achievements (and troubles) with the team, he said: “I think a lot of people don't realise that Jude is self-taught. His father might have owned the team, but they didn't have a relationship. Jude worked his way to the top from the bottom and he didn't leave a stone unturned.” _

_ When I ask Zero why it seems like people aren't giving credit for his work, his answer is simple: “Oscar Kinkade. What they need to know is that Jude is his own person. He's strong, he's smart and brilliant. I fully believe that he's going to take the Riders to the top.” _

_ It's easy to pour scorn on Zero's comments because he's not objective, but he clearly has a great deal of respect for Jude. It's something that I wonder about constantly when I'm conducting the interviews.  _

_ “How easy is it to separate the good and the bad when it comes to your working relationship with Jude,” I ask Zero. Initially, he seems uncomfortable, but after a moment of deliberation, he has an answer  _

_ “It's not easy. It never is when you have history with someone, but I love Jude. I always will. I'm happy to do whatever it takes for him to succeed. _ ”

Eventually, Jude he flips the magazine closed and tries not to act like the words  _ I love Jude _ aren't emblazoned on his brain. 

“Hey, man, what's up?” Zero says when he answers the call. “You calling about the article? The photographs came out awesome, right? I really liked the one of you in your standard black suit and ugly tie. It painted you in such a different light."

Jude leans back in his chair with a smile. “Did you even read the article?”

Zero's never been big on  _ reading  _ anything about himself. Usually, he checks to see that his image is on point and leaves it at that. This is a bit different, though. If he wants to turn his basketball career into something promising when he's done playing, he needs to focus more on his public image. 

“Mel read parts of it to me. Apparently, most of it was the author rambling about how she got to live out her fangirl fantasies. Whatever that means.”

Jude laughs and puts the call on speaker so that he can continue checking his emails. 

“That's an accurate description. There was some good stuff in there, though. After the last few years, it's all we can hope for.”

“Well, I'm glad that it's good,” Zero says, his tone mostly indifferent. “Anyway, the article is the boring part. You ready for this party?”

“That depends. Is this a GQ party or a Zero party? Cause your idea of a good time and mine are completely different.”

During their past relationship, they were known for never being spotted together often. Zero was the partier, always invited to the hottest clubs and events. Jude only attended such things when there was something in it for him. Playing bodyguard for Zero wasn't his idea of fun so he generally stayed away altogether. 

“It's all them. I don't have enough star power to take over their event. Wouldn't want to if I did. I'm a changed man.”

“Are you?” Jude doesn't realise he's asking a serious question until the words leave his mouth.

There's a short but comfortable silence on the line and Jude delete two emails and marks one as 'high priority’. 

“You tell me,” Zero replies eventually. “I've been back long enough. Do you think that I've changed?”

It's not like Jude's got a detailed analysis on what Zero was like before and now. He liked Zero just fine all of those years ago; that was never the problem. 

“I don't know, Zero. I haven't really thought about it. I mean, you and I were always cool, we always got along. You were my best friend…”

Zero exhales messily before he says, “I was just a shitty boyfriend.”

Jude sits forward as the familiar strain in his neck starts to creep in. “I didn't say that.”

Zero's breathy laugh is strained. “You didn't have to. I think the writer of this article summed it up pretty well.”

_ I wonder if they would have worked out if Zero wasn't more enamoured with the glitz and glamour of being a celebrity than he was with being Gideon - a regular guy from downtown Los Angeles.  _

“How did she get your real name?” Jude asks. It's never been made public, and even though it's accessible information, they've been through hell and high water in the past to protect Zero's mononymous status. 

“Gave it to her. I'm not hiding behind  _ Zero  _ anymore. I'm...Gideon _.  _ And I'm okay with that.”

Jude wonders if Zero really is a changed man. 

~

Jude's half an hour late to the party  _ and  _ he's still at his apartment. The olive green suit looked good when he tried it on, but now it seems to bunch up in awkward places and it's uncomfortable. He's hot and  _ sweaty  _ and not ready to mingle with a bunch of strangers. Lionel is stricken with a migraine so she's no longer his date, leaving Jude wondering why he's bothering at all. 

It's not like anyone is attending the party for  _ him.  _

He's just about to loosen his tie when someone raps his door impatiently. 

“Wh--Zero? What are you doing here?” 

Jude is momentarily taken aback by the sight of Zero on his doorstep. He looks  _ good,  _ the dark blue tux fits him like a glove and his hair is styled in a neat coif that's pulled away from his face. Compared to Jude, he looks like a damn Ken doll. 

“Lionel called and told me to make sure that you don't bail in her absence,” Zero says. “So here I am.”

Freaking Lionel, Jude thinks, although, he gets the feeling that Zero would have come of his own accord anyway. 

“I look awful as usual,” Jude gripes. He lets Zero in and closes the front door. “You look  _ perfect  _ as usual.”

“Jude, you look  _ fine, _ ” Zero says, “but I'm more than happy to be your fairy godmother for tonight.”

Before Jude can raise his eyebrows at that statement, Zero's steps into his spaces and undoes his tie. He tugs it off and loosens the top button on Jude's crisp white shirt. 

After fiddling with Jude's suit for a few moments, Zero steps back and says: “There. That's better.” 

Jude releases a long suffering sigh, but he still goes into his bedroom to take a look in his full-length mirror. Oddly enough, he  _ does  _ look better. He could almost pass for someone who wasn't inexplicably nervous about a party. He looks artfully relaxed and put together at the same time. 

“Thanks, Gideon,” he says when he steps back out. “I think I'm just nervous, but I'll be fine. Uh. We should go. We're already late.”

Zero glances at his watch. “Dude, the party's only been going for forty five minutes. We're not even  _ fashionably  _ late yet.”

“Need I remind you of what happened at New York Fashion Week that one year?”

Zero shrugs innocently. “Armani got the fuck over it, didn't they? Plus, I don't know about you, but I still don't regret turning up five minutes before the show was about to end.” 

“You were the main attraction of the show,” Jude reminds him. “God, we didn't even turn up for the practise run.” 

Zero's face springs into life and blooms into his trademark smirk. “We were making good use of the penthouse suite that  _ they  _ put us in. They only have themselves to blame.”

Jude feels his face flush as the memories float to the surface. He can picture it vividly; skin on skin as Zero slid into him slowly.

“I hope they sanitized that breakfast bar,” Jude mumbles, frowning when Zero finds it amusing. “It's not funny. I had to do damage control for  _ weeks _ .”

“It was worth it, though, wasn't it?” Zero says quietly. That was a time when they were crazy in love and unable to keep their hands off each other. When they lived in a bubble that didn't seem like it would ever burst.

Happier times. 

Jude is struck by a sudden desire to kiss Zero hard enough to rumple his suit and screw up his perfectly styled hair. He wants to leave a mark that screams  _ property of Jude  _ just so that everybody knows that Zero is his. 

Instead, he grabs his keys and hurries Zero out of his apartment before they end up being even later than they are already. 

~

The GQ party is a typical celebrity event;  flashing lights, a crazy amounts of cameras and an ostentatious red carpet. Jude poses for a few photographs on his own before Zero joins him and the flashes increase exponentially. 

When that nightmare is over, Jude fades into the background. He heads over to the bar and orders an orange juice. He's got another meeting with the league in the morning; apparently going over the same things constantly is the best way to prevent further scandal.

It's not until he turns away from the bar that he sees it. In the middle of the ballroom, there's a huge blown up version of the reimagined Instagram bathroom picture. In the end, they settled on a pose where Zero's 'naked' and taking a selfie while Jude's in a crinkled suit and staring ahead. 

It's like the air is punched out of his gut and Jude can't stop staring at it.

“I like it.”

Jude turns away from the photograph to find a tall, dark haired familiar looking man staring at it appreciatively. 

“Thanks," he says, hoping that the man will take the hint and go away. The party is technically a great opportunity for networking, but Jude is disillusioned right now. He doesn't want to think about business matters. He's here to support Zero and once he's done that he intends to leave.

Unfortunately, the man smiles at joins Jude at the bar. “Don't take this the wrong way, but this doesn't seem like it's your scene.”

Jude shakes his head. “It isn't. I'm here to support Zero and the team” 

“I can tell. I mean, look at him, he's definitely in his element.”

Zero's on the far side of the room surrounded by a mass of people. There's a huge smile on his face and he looks  _ happy _ and carefree. 

“Yeah, I suppose he is…” Jude can't help the way his lips curl up at the sight. He wishes that he could stand there next to Zero and feel like he belongs in this world, but he doesn't.

The man continues talking even though Jude's not giving him anything. “Anyway, I'm not one for the glitz and glamour myself. My personal assistant forced me to come to this thing. Apparently, being single for six months makes me a charity case.”

Jude eyes the guy warily and says, “Well, I hope you're having a good time.”

He's starting to wish that he'd mingled instead of sitting at the bar. If he has to listen to this guy all night, he might do something crazy like break into the Lambada.  

“I feel like I'm having a better time than you are,” the man says, “I'm Dan Stevens, by the way. I work for Cooper Martins. Private law firm based here in L.A.”

Jude takes a sip of his drink. “I've heard of it. I've been through my fair share of lawyers in the last few years.”

Dan glances around the ballroom briefly before he turns back to Jude. “Figured. Your team has been through a lot. I'm surprised that you're still the owner. For a while there it seemed like you were a goner. The league actually retained my firm to look into it.”

Jude forces himself not to grimace; that explains why Dan looks so familiar. The commissioner tried his damnedest to force a sale but no one wanted to bite. 

That's the only reason why Jude's still here, hanging on by a thread. 

Jude's not sure where Dan gets off approaching him and bringing any of this up, but it's not like he's going to make a scene in public. 

“It was nice meeting you, Dan,” he says, standing up before the other man can continue. “Enjoy the rest of the party.” 

~

Zero catches up with Jude an hour later. He still looks perfect, hair artfully tousled and his tie neatly in place. Meanwhile, Jude's hot, uncomfortable and sweating in his suit.

Zero jabs Jude's shoulder and chastises him gently. “Dude, the whole point of these parties is to  _ network _ . I saw you talking to one guy and he's a freaking lawyer. Like you need another one of those.”

Jude doesn't even ask how Zero knows who Dan is. He just wants to leave. The loud bass music thumps in time with his heartbeat and he wishes he could jump out of his own skin. 

Dan's words have been playing on his mind all night and spiralled him into his fiftieth existential crisis. Not for the first time he wonders if he should jump ship before he's pushed. 

How long can he put up with the constant meetings with the commissioner, with the shareholders and minority owners. Is it worth wondering when another German is going to come and screw him over. Or wondering if someone else is going to drop dead and spill more blood on the court? 

“Is everything okay?” Zero's blue-green eyes lock onto his and Jude can see the concern there.

He doesn't want to burden Zero with the same thoughts he's had for years. Still, there's only one person that he can talk to about this and that's Zero.

“Do you ever regret becoming a basketball player?” 

It's a stupid question; if it wasn't for basketball, Zero wouldn't be who he was. They wouldn't be here. None of that would be happening. 

Zero raises an eyebrow. “No. If I wasn't playing ball, I'd probably be lying in a ditch somewhere, halfway to death. It's not like I grew up in a nice fancy neighbourhood with a wealth of opportunities. Of course, you already know that.”

“Yeah, sorry, I guess I'm just being me and overthinking things again,” Jude says. “C’mon. Let's get another drink.”

“Is this about the article?” Zero asks suddenly. “You're worried about how you came off?”

Jude hates that he's so damn predictable. 

Dan's comments were just the tip of the iceberg. He spent most of the afternoon reading through the comments that focused on him. Once he got past the ones gushing over him and Zero, it wasn't pleasant. 

The general consensus is that he's a whiny bastard who needs to toughen up. 

“It feels like I'm still that guy who's  _ constantly  _ looking for approval,” Jude admits, 'and I guess I thought I was done with that. I mean, I don't care about Oscar anymore and I'm doing this. I'm running the team. What more do people want from me?”

Zero looks away, shaking his head gently. After a few seconds he says, “You can't let what other people think of you affect how you see yourself. I actually  _ read  _ the piece and everyone they asked only had  _ good  _ things to say about you. Why focus on the negative when there's so much more than that?” 

Jude doesn't have an answer for that. It's just the way he is. Although, he can see how it's not a good way to live. Constantly doubting his ability to do his job or even be in a fulfilling relationship without screwing things up. At some point, his upbringing is just an excuse. 

“How do you  _ always  _ know the right thing to say?”

This is what Jude's missed about their relationship the most. Zero laying everything out so simply that Jude can't even argue. He can't twist a straight line into knots when it's solid.

Zero looks taken aback, but he recovers quickly. “I guess I just know you well enough by now. I don't understand why you've been sitting back and letting Marcus Douglas tell you how to run  _ your  _ team. Or why the league have you on a damn leash."

“I need to show them that I know how to run this team,” Jude says, the words tumbling out slowly, like he's having an epiphany with each one. "I need to stand up for myself."

~

Two days after the party, Laura invites Jude for lunch. It's strange enough that Jude calls Zero to make sure that he's not being tricked. Zero tells him to relax and  _ stop thinking so damn much.  _

Jude wishes it was that simple. 

“So, Jude, I'm going to be here for the foreseeable future and I need someone to show me around town properly,” Laura announces after they place their order. They're at an upscale bistro that seems to be popular with the socialite crowd. 

“I thought you had a friend that was doing that?” Jude says. He remembers Zero complaining bitterly about the 'vapid airhead’ his sister was forcing him to be around. 

Laura makes a dismissive hand gesture. “She and her dumb boyfriend are taking a road trip to save their dumb relationship.”

Before Jude can respond to that, she continues, saying, “From what Zero's told me, your best friend is your father  _ fourth  _ ex-wife, and that's just sad. So, I'm here to up your street cred and you're here to save me from my boring brother.”

That startles a laugh from Jude. “Zero is far from boring.”

Laura rolls her eyes. “It's not like you'd think he was. You're in love with him. Still, I kind of wish I'd known the partying fake Christian Zero. That guy seems like a good time.”

“That guy isn't real, Laura,” Jude tells her, frowning when her mouth twists into a pout. “The real Zero is so much more than that.”

Laura’s smile is a devious one and Jude wonders if he's fallen for some kind of real when she says, “Like I said. You’re still in love with him.” 

~

Jude learns the hard way that Laura is being serious about them hanging out. He's grabbing a coffee from one of the overpriced carts outside the arena when Noah approaches him. There's a small smile on his face that Jude returns automatically. 

Noah orders a black coffee to go before he says, “I hear that you just want to be  _ seen _ .”

“You read the article.”

Jude's finally realised that he can't change people's perception of him, but he finds it ironic that he's now the talk of the town. 

“Yeah, I did and it turns out that Zero isn't an airhead like I thought he was,” Noah replies with a wry smile. “Lionel's forbidden me from writing anymore shady articles on him which is a shame. There was a lot to unpack.”

Jude takes a sip of his vanilla latte while he decides how to respond. He hasn't seen Noah much since he and Zero stopped doing whatever it was they were doing. Since he chose Zero over Noah (not that there was a choice to make) and he's not sure where they stand. 

“I think it's high time that you got some new material anyway,” Jude says. “I don't think the articles were all that well received by anyone. It's like when you did that piece on me that nobody watched.”

Noah laughs loudly, catching the attention of a few passers-by. “Oh. How could I forget? It was a ratings bomb. It also looked like a sixth-grader put it together. Not my finest work.”

At the time, Jude took it personally, but now he can see the funny side. It's not like he's the most interesting subject. If anything it was sweet that Noah still went ahead with it.

“I did warn you beforehand,” Jude reminds him.

Noah's smile fades slowly and he says, “Yeah... you did.”

There's an odd moment and Jude starts to feel uncomfortable, like he's doing something wrong. Before he can make his excuses, a voice sounds nearby.

“Jude? Oh, Jude, there you are. I've been looking for you.” 

Jude turns to see Laura by his side and judging by her stern expression, she's not happy with him. 

Noah raises an eyebrow when Laura glares at him and Jude senses that she didn't just stumble across them. It seems like she's probably been observing them for some time.

Still, he makes the introductions. 

“Noah, this is Laura. Laura, this is Noah, he works for ISN.”

Laura's eyes narrow the way Zero's do when he's detecting bullshit. If this wasn't so awkward, Jude would be creeped out by how much they look alike.

“You mean, Noah, the guy who wrote those articles about my brother? Your ex-boyfriend? This is him?” Laura isn't impressed and Jude senses that he's in for a world of trouble. 

Noah's face morphs into a shit eating grin. “The very same. It's nice to meet you.”

Laura doesn't skip a beat. “You need a better editor. Your comma abuse physically pains me. Goodbye. C’mon, Jude. Let's go.”

Jude barely has time to take in Noah's surprised expression before she grabs his wrist and tugs him towards the arena doors.

~

By the time they reach Jude's office, Laura's stolen his latte and he's fired off three texts to Zero, who's on the East Coast and probably busy.

“Dude, what the hell was that?” Laura pounces on him the second the door closes. There's an accusing glint in her eyes and Jude doesn't get it. It's not like he and Zero are in a relationship and it's not like his hand his hands down Noah's pants. They were just talking. 

Jude frowns. “What?”

Laura rolls her eyes. “You and your ex-boyfriend flirting up a storm down there.”

“I don't see how it's your business,” Jude snaps, although he'll never admit that his first thought is  _ I hope she doesn't tell Zero. _

Laura shakes her head. “Oh, it's my business. You know why I'm here in California and not back in Boston? My ex-boyfriend got married and had a damn baby. We were on a break and suddenly, he was just gone. Just like that. We were on and off. On and off. Until one day we were truly off. Like you and my brother.”

Jude feels for her, but he doesn't appreciate being the comparison. “That's not at all like me and Zero.”

“It will be if you keep on flirting with Noah. Zero's giving you space to heal from that mess of a relationship, but hanging around Noah won't make things easier for you.”

Jude snorts. “You know this how? What makes you think that we didn't just decide to be friends?”

“I've been around Gideon for almost four years now and the happiest I've seen him is when he's with you,” Laura says. Her voice is so soft that it's almost a whisper, but Jude hangs onto every word. “After he found out about Noah, he thought you guys were done. I told him that he couldn't just pick up where you left off. That it was dumb to think you could."

“There's no guarantee that things would be different this time,” Jude says. “I've missed my  _ friend _ . It can be lonely here in L.A. It's good to have a familiar face around. Maybe I can live with that.”

“So you don't want Zero back?” Laura asks. 

it's not that simple, Laura," Jude says. “I asked him to marry me and he said  _ no _ and that crushed me. It devastated me and I never want to feel that pain again.”

Laura presses her lips together and nods slowly. “Do you really think that it didn't hurt Zero to turn you down? That you were the only one who was crushed? He spent years beating himself up. Haven't you both suffered enough?”

Jude has never really looked at it that way before and it hits him then that he has to let go - truly let go - so that he can move forward.

~

Once Laura leaves his office, Jude gives Zero a call. 

“Jude! Hey, what's up? Hope Laura isn't giving you too much trouble. She told me you've been hanging out.”

Hanging out? Jude scoffs quietly. She just spent thirty minutes telling him to get over himself. At this point, he would rather listen to Lionel talking about her  _ sexcapades _ . 

“She's been fine. She caught me talking to Noah and we had this whole conversation about stuff." 

Zero's laugh is a slow rumble that Jude feels in his chest. “She's giving you grief isn't she? She told you the story about her ex-boyfriend, right?”

“Uh. Yeah. How'd you know?” Jude asks. 

“Well, I live with her and she's quite taken with you,” Zero says. “Guess it runs in the family. We can't get enough of the adorable Jude Kinkade.”

Jude tells his quickening heartbeat to  _ shut the fuck up _ . 

“She was  _ really  _ intense, though,” Jude says. “It's like something happened, but I don't know what.”

“That's probably my fault,” Zero says. “I was going to sell the house. Our house. I told Laura and let's just say that my ears are ringing. She was not happy.’

Jude forces his response out, swallowing hard when he feels a lump in his throat. “She wants you to keep it?”

Jude isn't sure how to feel, especially after the photoshoot. The house became a weight over his neck after their relationship ended. Eventually, he moved out and sold his half to Zero when he needed liquid money to buy into the Devils. 

He can't be angry at Zero for wanting to sell it, not when he gave it up so easily. 

“Doesn’t matter. I couldn't do it anyway. It would mean that we're really over and I think we both know that's not true.”

Judea heart does a somersault like he's on a rollercoaster holding on for dear life. “We do?”

Zero laughs quietly. “Yeah. Loving each other was never the problem, Jude, it was just everything else. Yet, here we are and you're...you're the only person that I care about. I love you, Jude.”

“I love you too,” Jude says. "I never stopped. I'm sorry that it's taken us this long to get back here."

"Me too," Zero says. "Me too."

There's silence after Zero speaks and for the first time in his life, Jude doesn't wait for someone to come to him and he's not pulling a power move to get them to stay. 

"I want to be with you, Zero, and  _ only  _ you. I think we should give this another try. You and me."

"I'd like that," Zero says, "I'd like that a lot."

  
  



	4. Fourth Quarter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long delay!

**Fourth Quarter**

isn.com | Will the Riders make the playoffs?

_ It's been six months since the Los Angeles Riders inaugural season begun and they've experienced a major turn around. The team has gone from a series of misfires to precision shooting and impressing all of their naysayers this season. No one would have thought they'd be contenders for the playoffs, but it seems like in the City of Angels anything is possible.  _

_ More to follow… _

* * *

It's been a month since Jude and Zero rekindled their relationship and it's been going well. There are still some things that they need to talk about, but all that matters is that they're together. Sure, there's a whole chunk of time that they haven't really discussed; it doesn't matter. There's plenty of time for them to do that--

"--Jude? Jude are you even listening to me?"

Jude snaps out of his thoughts to find Lionel staring at him. He can't remember why she's here at his apartment. In fact, it's sheer luck that she caught him here given that he spends most of his time at Zero's place these days.

Lionel folds her arms across her chest tightly. "I was saying that my board of directors were  _ pissed  _ that you gave GQ a whole spread when we can barely get one line from you."

Jude shrugs and takes a long sip of his spinach and kale smoothie. "I don't do television interviews. That's always been my stance."

It's something he picked up from Jelena, who's tenure wasn't without its issues, yet she always kept herself out of the limelight. By comparison, Oscar was the forefront of each and every crisis and Jude's reaping the 'rewards' of that now. 

Lionel's face takes on an expression that Jude usually doesn't elicit; one of darkness and anger. He abandons his smoothie and braces himself for her next words. 

"Right, but if they asked you to do one with Zero, you would right?" 

Jude doesn't deny it, although, it doesn't mean that she's right. 

"I have enough on my plate, Lionel. I can get you an interview with some of the players, maybe. Surely that would fare better?"

Lionel narrows her eyes. "You didn't have too much on your plate when you wanted a favourable broadcast deal."

Jude raises an eyebrow and says, "Maybe I wouldn't need one if you hadn't screwed the Devils over all those years ago." 

Lionel's eyes widen before her face twists into a cruel smirk. "You really want to go there? Whose screw up put you where you are now? Who's kept the full extent of Oscar's shady dealings hidden all this time?"

Jude swallows hard and takes a deep breath before he says something that he'll come to regret. 

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

Lionel reaches over to grab her jacket from the arm of Jude's couch. "No, I am. I'm sorry for thinking that we were friends. Apparently, I'm only good for when you want spend  _ years  _ whining about Zero. Now that everything is good, I guess you don't need me anymore." 

"Lionel, that's not true," Jude protests, but it's in vain. 

The door slams before he can say anything else. 

~

Unfortunately for Jude, he has to come face to face with Lionel a few hours later at Marcus Douglas' birthday party. Luckily, Zero's by his side and he can breath easy. He's not worried about what Lionel said to him. There's no concern that if she brings him down, he'll lose everything all over again. Their friendship is too strong for that. 

"Jude, are you going to tell me what's up with you?" Zero asks - for the second time - when Marcus' wife is giving a toast. "You've been quiet all night."

He's been hoping to avoid talking about Lionel. The more he thinks about it, the more he realises that he's at fault. 

Jude looks down at the floor, idly noticing a scuff mark on his dress shoes. "Lionel and I got into an argument. She wants me to do an interview for ISN and I declined. It got... ugly."

Zero sips his champagne and asks, "Why did you say no?"

Part of Jude wishes that Zero would just take what he says and accept it blindly, but that's not how their relationship is. 

"I don't  _ do  _ interviews. I did GQ because I had a point to prove and you know, it was with  _ you _ . I made an exception."

Zero clearly isn't buying that excuse. "... and you can't make another one for Lionel? I find that hard to believe. What's the real issue? Is this to do with Noah?"

Sometimes Jude hates that Zero can read him so well. 

"I can't trust that Noah won't twist my words," he says. "Even with Lionel being the head of the network, they do whatever sells. I can't trust that she'll be able protect me."

The shallowness of his words echo in his mind and he already knows that Zero's not going to sugarcoat his response.

"You know, I'm not Lionel's biggest fan but her loyalty to you has never wavered," Zero points out, "She's threatened to kick my ass enough times. My advice? If Noah's the issue, just make sure he has nothing to do with it. If he's not the issue and you're just worried about putting yourself out there - just remember that no one else matters."

Zero is right, and what's more evident is that Jude doesn't need to worry about Noah. All he needs to do is just talk to him, figure things out.

"I guess I'm so used to everything being a battle. It's not even like Noah and I are on bad terms, it's just…"

"Extremely awkward?" Zero fills in the blanks. "That's to be expected, but who knows, maybe CNN will come calling one day and you'll never have to see him again."

It's a throwaway comment yet all it does is remind Jude just how selfish he's been to both Noah and Zero. Sabotaging their careers for his own gain.

"Can I ask you a question? How did you get New York to offer you another deal?"

Zero's shoulders tense and his mouth tightens; perhaps Jude could have changed the subject more tactfully.

"The team owner thought you were an asshole and I happened to agree with him at the time. It really wasn't that difficult to get them to see that I  _ did _ want to play for them."

"Well, I'm glad that it worked out," Jude says. 

Zero chuckles. "Yeah, I'm sure you are."

They share a long drawn out look in silence before someone comes over to talk to Zero. 

~

Jude finds himself in hair and makeup the next week, preparing to be interviewed by  _ Ahsha Hayes  _ of all people. Apparently, Lionel felt bad about Pete dying and, she offered Ahsha a job as one of their anchors. 

"I'm watching some of Ahsha's previous interviews and I think you'll be fine," Laura says from where she's looking down at her ever present iPhone. "If anything, all you have to do is be less awkward than she is."

Jude glances at Laura. "Why are you here again?"

"Moral support because Zero couldn't make it," Laura replies without looking up from her phone. "I'm sure you'll thank him later."

Jude grimaces when she punctuates her words with a lewd wink; sometimes her humour makes him uncomfortable. 

The producer steps into the dressing room and announces that they're rolling in ten minutes. Two seconds after he leaves, the door opens again and this time it's Noah. 

Jude's been waiting for this moment ever since he called Lionel and agreed to do the interview. He wonders if this is why Laura's really here. To keep an eye on the Noah situation. 

"Hey, Jude, can I talk to you for a second?" Noah says, glancing between Jude and Laura before he adds, "In private."

Laura looks between both of them. "I guess I'll wait outside."

Noah waits for her to leave before he takes her vacant seat and says, "Lionel says that you didn't want me doing the interview. Why?"

Jude could make up some story about it being awkward and messy. He could even say what he said about Noah twisting his words. He could say all of that, but they would be a fraction of the truth. 

"I think that we've blurred the lines between professional and personal enough for a lifetime. It's just better this way."

Noah presses his lips together and releases them slowly. "That's fair. I just wanted to make sure that we're okay? There's no bad blood."

They've been down this path before. They break up, they make up and they spend a lot of time talking about how they're both good. Eventually, some issue pops up and the cycle starts again. 

"I'm with Zero," Jude blurts out, "like,  _ with him  _ with him. For real this time."

Noah swallows audibly, but his face remains unchanged. "You should have led with that. Anyway, Ahsha is still new to this, so we'll keep it as short as possible. Are we allowed to ask about Zero?"

Jude's confused by the abrupt turn of the conversation, but he goes along with it. "Only if it's related to the team." 

"Cool," Noah says. "I'll see you there. We start rolling in five."

~

When Jude tells Zero about the interview later, he mentions the conversation with Noah including how weird it got. 

"Jude, you just told him that you're back with your ex. Did you want him to be hula hooping and jumping for joy?"

Jude frowns. "I guess not. It was just weird."

"Let it be weird then," Zero says bluntly. "I don't want to hear about him either. You can't keep on mixing the past with the present and expecting it to be okay."

The words hang in the air awkwardly and tension begins to creep up Jude's neck. 

He rolls it slightly and says, "We might need to make an announcement about us. I can't say that Noah won't leak it to someone."

Zero looks like he's chewing glass. "I don't think he will."

"What makes you so sure?"

"You practically told him you didn't trust him. If he cares - and I think we both know that he does - he won't be in a hurry to prove you right."

Zero's words are clipped and it's clear that he's irritated. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything to him without talking to you first," Jude says. "It just felt like the right thing to do."

"Whatever, Jude, let's just change the subject, okay?"

Zero leaves to go back to his condo shortly after that. 

~

The interview airs the night before the Riders play and Jude ends up watching it on his own. It's a five minute clip, mostly about the general day to day running of the team. Considering how much of a fuss he made, Jude feels stupid. Things with Zero are shaky, Lionel is barely speaking to him and Noah's practically a ghost in the arena halls (not that Jude cares about that). 

The only confidant he has is Laura, and she's not exactly unbiased. 

"I don't see what the issue is," she says to him, "Zero seems fine to me. Lionel's a functional alcoholic who needs an extended stay in rehab and Noah is a non-entity. Quit stressing."

"That's easy for you to say," Jude mumbles. Stress is his way of life. He can't remember the last time he let loose and actually  _ relaxed _ . 

Laura releases a long-suffering sigh. "It's almost lunch time. Let's go and grab something. My treat."

Two hours after her offer, Jude finds himself face down on a massage table with hot stones bleeding into the small of his back. He's not even upset with Laura for tricking him into this pampering session; it's long overdue. 

He's not sure how long he's been lying there. Technically his massage ended twenty minutes ago, but apparently tipping the masseuse a hundred bucks means that he can just... lie here (and just forget the words). 

There's a knock on the door and Jude doesn't bother to look up when he smells the scent of Laura's floral perfume.

"Jude, I think you have an appointment with Marcus Douglas that you need to be at. He's called like, six times."

Laura sounds bored and Jude decides that he doesn't want their day to end just yet. 

He smiles sleepily. "Tell him it'll have to wait. You and I are going to see a movie." 

Three hours after he makes that statement, Jude finds himself sitting on the bonnet of his stormy blue Porsche, with Laura camped next to him. 

Laura nudges him gently. "So, what's going on with you and Gideon? Both of you seemed off at dinner last night. You were offbeat and I feel like you headbutted him by accident when you went in for a kiss."

Jude's face flushes; that wasn't his finest moment. Laura's observation is accurate, though, they've been all over the place. Zero's quiet and withdrawn one minute and chatty and personable the next. The abrupt change always throws Jude off and makes him feel guilty.

"I think Zero's stressing over the season and I'm just making it worse," he admits. "I need to stop thinking that  _ everything  _ is about me." 

Laura slow claps and pumps her hands in the air. "Yes! I get it. People are shitty at communicating. However, nothing good comes from blaming yourself for everything. I learned that the hard way when I came face to face with my mom." 

Jude's breath catches at the mention of Zero's mother. He still hasn't asked about her, doesn't think Zero will offer up the information either. 

"You come up with stories in your mind about people," Laura continues, her eyes distant, like she's in a different universe. "Mine was that she was like, in trouble, and she gave us up to protect us. Turns out that she's just incapable of caring about anyone but herself. All those years of feeling like we were burdens that could have gotten her killed and it was the other way around."

Laura looks so dejected and broken that all Jude wants to do is embrace her. He's heard Zero's version of his early life and it's a heartbreaking tale. If he ever came face to face with their mother, he would have some choice words for her. 

"I'm sorry that she can't be a better mother to you," Jude tells her, his mind wandering back to a year ago when he was barely talking to his mom. "Maybe that was her way of protecting you from herself. Giving you up. It sucks, but, you know. Maybe."

Laura shrugs nonchalantly and bumps Jude's shoulder with her own. "Maybe."

Two hours after that conversation, Jude finds Zero waiting outside his apartment. He's sitting on the steps and tapping away at his phone. Jude thanks his cab driver and ambles out of the vehicle slowly. It's not that they're fighting, just in an awkward position after Jude stupidly told Noah about them. 

"Hey, stranger," Jude calls out when he finally reaches Zero. Zero unfolds himself slowly, dusting off his Nike joggers when he's upright. It looks like he's just come from the arena and Jude suddenly wishes that he'd been there instead of relaxing all day.

"What's going on with us?" Zero skips past the pleasantries and gets straight to the point. "It's been weird since you told Noah that we were together again. I know that I've been all over the place what with the team and all, but... I don't know."

Jude looks down at the ground, specifically at a weed shooting out from two concrete slabs on the sidewalk. "I thought you were angry that I told Noah about us."

Zero inches close enough that Jude can smell the powdery scent of his deodorant. "I don't really know what kind of relationship you two had and I don't really want to know. If you felt you needed to tell him, then that's fine with me. I'm not angry."

"You really mean that?" Jude asks. It's not like he's been the only one that's off. 

"He's not worth fighting over, and if he is, clearly we're just kidding ourselves and I don't think that we are," Zero says, looking away briefly before he continues, "What you and I have has always been the real deal. It's going to take more than Noah to change that."

Jude nods slowly. "Agreed. You wanna stay over tonight?"

Zero turns back to face Jude before he answers and his lips curl into a smile. "I'd like that."

~

Time seems to slow as the focus turns to the last third of the season. The board have stopped sniffing around and Jude is finally able to breathe easy. Lionel hasn't been around lately and while he still loves her deeply, he's been keeping a wide berth.

He's not sure how to help her and he doesn't want to make things any worse. 

Instead, he throws himself into work and finds himself watching Zero shoot a commercial for  _ Nike _ . He's promoting his latest signature sneaker, the Z-07's. Jude isn't sure how Mel pulled that one off, but it's nice to see Zero prospering. It reminds Jude of the good old days, when he was chasing Trojan and vitamin water companies. 

They've both come a long way, but it all seems like yesterday when Zero kissed him in his old apartment with such fiery passion that Jude thought he was dreaming. 

The sound of voices snaps Jude out of his thoughts and he smiles up at Zero, nodding when their eyes meet.

"Hey, Jude, thanks for coming," Zero says; his tone is professional, the way it always is when they're around other people. Their relationship isn't public yet, but Jude's been keeping an eye on the ongoing mystery. TMZ have posted a slew of articles and Radar Online went with an interesting take - _Is_ _Jude hooking up with Zero for financial reasons?!_ \- but so far they've refused to comment. 

Noah hasn't insinuated anything in his regular articles on the team either, and Jude's immensely grateful for that. Still, a part of him wishes that he could just pull Zero into a kiss in front of all these people. He wishes that he wasn't Zero's boss, that he doesn't have to be strictly professional.

"How's the shoot going?" Jude asks, frowning when he sees that Zero looks unsure of himself. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's all going great," Zero says, before he adds, "Jude, have you heard from Lionel lately?"

Jude's confused by the concerned look on Zero's face and the sudden change in topic. "Not in a few weeks. Noah said she was on vacation. I haven't really spoken to her since the ISN interview."

Zero grimaces and tells one of the assistants that he needs to take a break before he directs Jude to his dressing room. 

"So, a couple of the guys and I went to a casino last night…" Zero starts, pausing to gage Jude's reaction.

Jude feels his brows skyrocket. The team are on a strict curfew implemented by Terrence. Technically, he could fine all of them based on Zero's admission. 

Zero continues before Jude can comment and he decides to that he's going to be Zero's  _ boyfriend  _ for the duration of the conversation and not his boss.

"We drove out to Nevada, and we were there for a few hours. We needed to let loose for a while. Team bonding shit. Anyway, I bumped into Lionel and she was a mess. I'm talking sloppy drunk. We drove her back and her house was...like something out of Great Expectations, Jude. It was bad."

This isn't anything new with Lionel and Jude forgets that Zero wasn't here for the worst of it. Even before Pete died, she went through spells of inebriation and scandal. Jude's lost count of the number of times he's saved her from herself. There is a part of him that wants to tell Zero to forget about it. To let Lionel do whatever the heck she wants. 

However, he realises that he doesn't have to bear the weight of this problem on his own anymore. Zero's here and Jude can lean on him for support. 

"Every time I think she's getting back on track, something happens," he confesses. "She hasn't been the same since Pete passed. I don't think she'll ever be over it."

Zero leans over and rubs Jude's shoulder soothingly. "All she could ask yesterday was where you were. I know you're not really talking to her, but she needs you."

It hits Jude then just how much he loves Zero; for taking care of Lionel when he didn't have to. For never once judging Jude's friendship with her. Sure, he judges  _ Lionel _ , but it's all in jest. He's always afforded her a certain level of respect that nobody else gets.

"I'll go over when we're done here," Jude says.

Zero smiles softly, leaning in to press a chaste kiss on Jude's mouth. "I'll come with you." 

~

"You know, I know that I'm supposed to be all zen and relaxed right now, but it's hard to do when Zero's got his shirt off." 

Jude rolls his eyes even though he's been admiring the view for the past half an hour. They're at Lionel's house, specifically the backyard, which still has the mini basketball court that used to be Pete's pride and joy. Zero and Laura are playing a pick-up game while Lionel and Jude lounge on deck chairs. 

"Hey, be glad that I'm okay with you enjoying the view," Jude says. "I'm a possessive guy."

Lionel's smirk fades and she sighs sadly. "I think I need to go away for a while. Clear my head. Put this house on the market."

"I think that's a great idea, I know that you have memories and whatnot, but it can't be healthy living here."

Lionel slips her shades off and turns so that she's facing Jude. "The memories aren't that great. Pete and I were never relationship goals. We weren't even hashtag worthy, but I keep on romanticising it in my head. The spiral comes whenever I remember how he cheated time and time again, or the hurtful comments he made."

"You have to get out of his house and out of your head," Jude tells her. "You're better than this. You're the strongest person that I know. Well. One of them. The way you bounce back whenever things go wrong is nothing short of amazing. You've got this."

Lionel smile doesn't reach her eyes, but Jude hopes he's gotten through to her. 

~

Shortly after Lionel's intervention ends with her booking a thirty-day stay in rehab, Zero invites Jude over to his condo and surprises him with dinner. It takes a minute for Jude to realise Zero's being genuine when he says he made everything from scratch. 

There's homemade spinach and mushroom gnocchi with what smells like parmesan cheese sauce and fresh bread rolls. Jude already knows that he's going to have to hit the gym with Zero to work all of this off, but he doesn't like. His tongue is already watering because it smells so good. 

"When we were together, you could barely boil water," Jude remarks dryly. "Now, you've gone all Master Chef on me."

Zero's smile is dazzling. "Guess I'm all grown up now." 

They make it all the way through dinner before Jude finally just thinks  _ fuck it _ and he pulls a rectangular jewelry box from his inside jacket pocket and slides it across the table.

"What's this?" Zero asks. "You didn't have to get me anything!"

It's a replacement for the gold chain that Zero never came back for. The one he left in the bathroom one day like it was nothing. Jude still has it, although, he went down to the jewelry store and got them to custom make a similar one. 

"Oh..." Zero says after he pops open the box. He seems confused, leaving Jude to explain the sentiment behind it. 

"You always used to wear one and I figured that something changed one day. I never knew what it was, but... I don't know. I wanted to get you a new one."

Zero's face changes slowly, like clouds metamorphosing over time, his eyes lighting up with realisation. 

"My mom left that chain with the orphanage. They sent it me just before they took me off the books, before college. I always thought it kept me close to her. I guess I was naive as hell." 

"Why did you stop wearing it?" Jude asks, wishing that he'd known that beforehand. "What happened?" 

Zero shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders dejectedly. "Things with us were going crazy. We were arguing over New York and whatever else. You know how it was. I was miserable and lonely. It hit me one morning that it was because of her. A lifetime of abandonment issues meant that I never let anyone in and there I was. On the verge of losing the  _ one  _ person that gave a damn about me."

It's strange to hear Zero voice his fears and truth, especially when they fought over it for years. The fact that Zero never did friends, or let anyone in. Jude remembers pestering him  _ you need people  _ and  _ you can't just deal with everything by yourself _ . He doesn't recall taking the time to actually understand why Zero kept his cards close his chest.

"I'm sorry that your mom couldn't be there for you," Jude says, "sorry that I let you down too."

Zero's hand covers Jude's where it's resting on the linen tablecloth. "People let each other down all the time, Jude. That's human nature. It's what we do. The difference is that you care enough to apologize. My so called mother doesn't."

Jude has enough experience with an absent parent to know how degrading it feels; like he's never going to be good enough. He wants to take away Zero's pain, but knows that he can't. That it's just an unfortunate side effect of reality. 

One thing he can do is focus on the positive; remind Zero that one good thing has come out of all of this. 

“I really like your sister,” Jude says instead. "After everything you both went through, I'm glad that you guys have each other now."

Zero grins. “She loves you. We all do. Especially me. You said all of that stuff about wanting to be noticed, but people already see you. The guys on the team think you're great. The staff have nothing but good things to say about you. The dancers  _ adore  _ you.” 

“I know that.”

Jude  _ does _ know that. He gets messages from the guys on the team all the time. The staff are always kind to him and the dancers this year have been drama free. All it takes is interacting with them and actually being attentive himself. 

“I figured. I mean, being a team owner gets you a  _ lot  _ of attention. Just not from the one person you need it from the most. Oscar. After all of these years, that still gets under your skin."

Zero's always understood, so Jude isn't surprised that he can read the situation perfectly after such a long time. 

It's just that everything is even more messed up in that area than it was before.

It's become so convoluted that Jude barely thinks about it, he just buries the feelings down and hopes that they never rise to the surface.

“You know what's so funny?” Jude says. “I always wondered why it was that he had so many marriages and just me. I was his only child and I never really thought about why. I was always too busy feeling sorry for myself."

Oscar made peace with Jude when he gave him a heads up about Eve Vincent, but that was just the beginning. The next time they met, secrets were revealed and Jude didn't speak to his mother for three months. 

He's since forgiven her, but what was revealed changed everything. 

“Maybe he's just not built for fatherhood,” Zero suggests with a shrug. “It's not for everyone.”

Jude shakes his head. “He's not my biological father, Gideon. He fell in love with my mom when she was pregnant with me and he married her anyway."

The truth still rings like a church bell, loud and clear like it's right in his ear. He learned to not think about it, to suppress it and shove it deep, but there's no way he can end this conversation without telling Zero. 

“You're kidding?” Zero is in a pure state of shock, similar to Jude's initial reaction. 

“I wish that I was," Jude says. "Apparently, they dated for three months before they got married. Call me crazy, but I think he really loved her. From what I gathered, it didn't work out because she wanted him to be around more and he didn't want to deal with the burden of having a family."

Zero is stunned; his eyes are wide and his mouth opens and shuts several times before he speaks. "How did you find out?"

"Oscar told me. Apparently, he couldn't live with the secret anymore."

Jude laughs to himself, because it's classic Oscar to think about himself. 

“I... well, I mean, this is good, right? I feel like not being related to Oscar is a good thing.”

Jude has done a lot of soul searching and healing and come to conclusion that it makes no major difference. Oscar or not, he never had a real father figure in his life. Nothing has changed in that respect. 

“My entire life was basically a lie but I can't be mad. I... was privileged. I wanted for nothing. He sent me to the best schools, helped me get my first job, and much more. That's more than some people get."

“He was still your  _ father,  _ Jude, that's his job,” Zero says. “He knew what he was getting into. Biological or not, he was supposed to take care of you. Not make you feel like you're not good enough. Like you're invisible. Throwing money at you and never showing affection doesn't make him a great guy. Quite the opposite.”

“I know, but... I understand why he kept me at a distance. Why he said  _ he had no son.  _ He was right, wasn't he? One day, I'll make peace with that.” 

Zero looks like he's not entirely convinced by Jude's words, but he drops it. 

“What about now?” he asks. "What are you going to do now?"

Jude moves closer and pulls Zero in, kissing him slowly in the soulful candlelight. “Now, I'm going to focus on building a life with you.”

They go to bed a few hours later, although, they're both too tired to do anything more than exchange lazy kisses. Zero's been putting in extra practise and workouts and Jude's energy was taken up by all of the emotional unloading he did. Besides, intimacy has never been their problem. It's the one thing that's always flourished - maybe to their detriment at times. 

"What time is it?" Zero mumbles into the silence. "Can hear you thinking."

"Sorry, I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep," Jude says. "I'll go and get a glass of water and leave you to rest."

He's in the kitchen for all of five minutes before Zero joins him. Jude wants to laugh at the irony of it all. Neither of them were ever  _ good  _ sleepers and it's nice to see that at least one thing has remained the same. Zero pads over to the counter and hoists himself on it. There's a glimmer of gold on his neck and something swoops in Jude's stomach when he sees that it's the gold chain. 

"Is everything okay?" Zero asks around a quiet yawn. "You've been restless all night."

He looks adorable and sleepy, with creases from the pillow embedded into his face and his brown hair sticking up in a million directions. Gone is the perfectly put together Zero; right now this is just Gideon. Raw and unfiltered.

"Yeah," Jude says truthfully. "Everything is fine. I'm not upset about Oscar. I've had a while to deal with it. I think that's why I've been pushing so hard to keep the team. It's the one part of my identity that's  _ real.  _ I love the team. I always have. Not even Oscar can take that away from me." 

Zero nods slowly, but he doesn't answer. He just watches Jude in silence before he finally beckons him over. When Jude reaches him, all Zero does is hook him in with an arm on his wrist, not stopping until Jude's right in the vee of his legs. 

The kiss catches Jude by surprise. It doesn't take long for him to catch on. They kiss with a burning intensity that Jude hasn't felt for a while. It feels like Zero's trying to bury himself and Jude? He's just doing his best to hold on. 

Somehow they manage to stumble over to the couch, with Zero lying on his back while Jude presses his body into him, revelling at the mass of warm skin and tight muscles beneath his fingers. Zero sits up enough to yank down Jude's boxers and then they're grinding against each other. The room is quiet with the exception of their soft moments and for a second Jude pretends that this is their world. It's just them in a protective bubble and no one can hurt them. 

It only occurs to Jude after they've cleaned up and gone back to bed that he won't see Zero for a few weeks. The Riders are playing on the road for their next few games and Jude's stuck in town and won't be able to fly out. 

"I'm going to miss you," Jude whispers into the dark. "Wish I could fly out with the team."

"I'd be worried if you didn't," Zero whispers back, although, there's a humorous note to his voice. "I'll be back before you know it."

Jude hums in response, suddenly feeling sleepy, although he's awake enough to hear what Zero says next.

"I think maybe it's time we told everyone about us. I mean, not that we  _ need  _ to, but I think we should just seize the day. Put it all out there."

"I'd like that," Jude says. "I'd like that a lot."

~

The team wins both of their away games, inching closer to playoffs. Jude can't get ahold of Zero to congratulate him and he starts to worry. Things have been going so well that he didn't think any of it when their phone calls barely lasted a few minutes and the texts petered out into nothing. Now he's lucky to get through at all and he can't help it. He hopes that Zero hasn't changed his mind about them. 

Eventually, his anxiety is eased by a text message from Zero that says  _ meet me at the house on Monday. _ It's cryptic and doesn't explain why Zero's been hard to reach, but Jude's not going to pretend that he won't be there. 

Monday rolls around and all Jude gets is a simple text from Zero reading  _ come over.  _ Jude knows that the team landed safely, but he's starting to think that something is seriously wrong. Zero isn't always the best communicator, but this behaviour is weird even for him.

Still. 

It's not like Zero would invite him over just to change his mind or for them to continue to go in circles. That would be fucked up and unnecessary. More and more scenarios play in his mind on the drive over and he's so wrapped up in his thoughts that he misses the white garlands draped over the gate... and spiralling all across the length of the driveway.

The faint sounds of classical music plays in the background, like something out of a period drama set in England.

“What the…”

By the time he pulls up at the front, he can see Zero standing by the door. He's wearing a white jacket and black tie and Jude's mouth drops open. 

“What's going on?” he asks when he's out of the car. “What is all of this?”

Jude can feel the nervous energy pouring off Zero in fits and starts, his eyes tracking the movement of Zero's throat when he swallow. Zero's usually the composed one, and seeing him so ruffled only makes Jude even more confused.

“When you asked me to marry you all I wanted to say was yes,” Zero begins slowly, adding, “I never thought I'd get married **,** but when it comes to you, I'm willing to break my own rules. You know that better than anybody. I thought turning you down was the best thing for  _ us  _ but it wasn't. I've regretted that moment for a long time and I'm so glad that I have a chance to make things right. So, this is me saying yes. This is me asking  _ you  _ to marry  _ me. _ ”

Zero's literally down on one knee and all Jude can do is stare at him. 

Now this he definitely did  _ not  _ see coming.

He blinks a few times and realises that Zero is holding an envelope  _ and  _ a ring box. He gestures at them both. 

“W-what's in the envelope?” Jude's hands are just as shaky as his voice and he wonders if the way his heart is pounding is normal. 

Zero shrugs nonchalantly and says, “It's the documentation stating that I own a five percent share of the team. Regardless of whether or not we get married, it's yours. It would give you a--”

“--large enough majority that I don't need to worry about a takeover. At least not right now.” 

Jude's long resigned himself to the threat of being forced out, but this is the perfect leverage. He would own almost two-thirds of the team. 

“Marcus Douglas ran into some money problems a few years ago. It's why he's been pushing you so hard. He's got everything riding on the team. I might have used that as leverage when he wanted me to sign.”

Jude's never even considered acquiring a bigger stake in the team and he certainly never thought about looking into Marcus Douglas. 

“I don't know what to say.”

Zero gives him a watery smile and Jude didn't even realise just how emotional he was. “Well, say something. I think my leg is about to go numb and I kind of need it for my job."

Jude leans forward and pulls Zero up towards him. “Yes, stupid. Yes, I'll marry you. I just wish we could have gotten our act together sooner.”

“Better late than never, huh,” Zero murmurs. 

Unfortunately, Jude's conscience always has something stupid to say and he can't help it. 

"We practically just got back together, Gideon. What if this is moving too fast?" 

"Some people get married after three months of knowing each other, J, so at this point, we're moving relatively slowly. Technically, it's been years. Plus I--" 

Jude doesn't let the rest of the words register before he closes the distance between them and pulls Zero into a kiss. It's short and to the point, but his lips still tingle the way they always do. 

“You've finally going to make an honest man out of me,” Zero whispers in his ear. “Bet you're happy now."

“You do realise that we're going to have to tell people, right? If my mom finds out that I got engaged and she wasn't the first person to know, she's going to--”

“--live,” Zero interjects. “I think everyone else has been in our business enough to last a lifetime. I wanted this to be just us for now. That's all I ever wanted.”

After people being in his business after the GQ article, Jude finally understands just how invasive it can be. He thinks about telling Zero that he gets it, but he decides to leave it for another time.

Instead, he pulls Zero even closer and tells him that he loves him.

~

Jude's Tuesday passes by in a blur of  _ omg I'm getting married  _ and fighting the urge to text Zero every five minutes. There's a banquet for some charity at the Playground that he has to attend, meaning that they can't even spend the evening together. 

By the time Jude arrives at the function, he's in better spirits. He makes his rounds and spends a few hours talking to Laura before Zero finally emerges from the long stream of guests he's been talking to. 

“I'll leave you two alone,” Laura says. “Oh and congratulations, by the way!” 

Jude smiles bashfully; he wasn't sure if Zero told her about their impromptu engagement so he didn't say anything. 

"Thanks, Laura. I'm still surprised if I'm being honest. I can't really picture Zero going ring shopping or finding someone to drape white garlands all over the house."

Laura looks like she knows exactly what Jude is insinuating, but true to form, she shrugs and says, "Gideon can be very thoughtful when he wants to be."

She heads over to the bar before Jude can say more and he turns his attention back to a wary looking Zero. 

"I don't know what the big deal is when it comes to ring shopping anyway. They all look the same to me."

"I guess I'll be the one to pick out our wedding rings," Jude says. It's not like he's already got a list of designs saved on his laptop or anything. 

"Hey, I have a good eye!" Zero protests. 

Jude glances around before he pats Zero's arm soothingly. "It's okay, man, you can't be perfect at  _ everything _ ."

~

It's game time and there's pandemonium in the Riders arena. The crowd is going wild with anticipation and excitement. Jude's got word that the arena is virtually sold out which is great for the team. From the amount of plastic cups and stadium nachos on display, they're looking at a decent amount of revenue from the food and beverage service. 

With the business side of things going well, Jude settles down to focus on the actual game. It feels like the season has been a blur of spreadsheets and game scores. It's been a long time since he's actually enjoyed watching ball.

Everything goes well until Zero's down lying on the court in the third quarter and Jude's heart stops in his chest. This is a make or break game. If they win, they're through to the playoffs and that would be  _ huge _ . They can't afford to lose Zero right now. Plus, Zero will be distraught if he can't contribute further.

Jude fights the urge to run down there and assess Zero himself. There are too many cameras around, too many probing eyes that would rewrite the narrative even if they do advance to the playoffs. The rest of the team have done too well this season to be relegated to shadows of their relationship. 

Jude remains where he is. 

Terrence steps onto the court alongside the trainer and they have a small discussion. After a few minutes, Zero hoists himself up shakily and hobbles over to the bench, and Jude finally allows himself to relax, letting the tension bleed out of his shoulders gradually.

“He'll be fine, right?” Laura says from where she's watching beside him. "He can still play?"

It's weird that she's going to be his  _ sister-in-law.  _ Even weirder that nobody cares anymore. They released a brief statement about the engagement and were headlines news for two days before Kanye West said something outrageous and kicked them out of the news cycle. 

“Yeah, he will. Seems like it was just an impact injury. He'll shake it off.” 

Jude turns his attention back to the court. They're two points behind with two minutes left on the clock. From all of the information the team analysts have grudgingly shared with him, there's no real game changer on the roster that can make magic happen. 

It's going to take something special for them to pull this off.

Some on court commotion snaps Jude out of his thoughts. Zero's tossed his towel aside, left the bench and is jogging back onto the court. Jude doesn't know how to feel - if Zero is seriously injured playing on would be entirely reckless. 

However... this is why they signed him; so he can do something special.

The clock restarts and Houston push forward, almost getting close before they run into the Riders defense. The ball is hooked up court and Zero swoops in and retrieves it, dribbling for two beats before he twists his body and executes a three point shot. 

Time seems to stand still as the ball travels in an arc, curving upwards before descending into a downward spin and dropping through the net. 

Jude's on his feet before he's aware of it, hands pumped up in celebration as the score announcement sounds of the system. Zero breaks free from the congratulatory huddle of players and makes a quick beeline for Jude and they bump fists fleetingly before he takes up his position. 

Laura nudges Jude's shoulder and says, “Awww. Has anyone ever told you guys that you're  _ disgustingly  _ cute?” 

The game goes down to the wire, with the Riders defending their one point lead like their lives depend on it. By the time the ref blows the final whistle, Jude feels like it's been  _ days  _ let alone seconds. 

He almost can't believe it, but when the whistle blows everybody around him goes _ wild.  _ The announcer can barely be heard over the roar of the crowd and Jude is practically carried onto the court by the people behind him. 

They've done it. The Los Angeles Riders have officially reached the playoffs! 

~

Jude throws a team dinner to celebrate reaching the playoffs. Their first game is in four days, but that doesn't mean they haven't earned some respite. 

“I didn't expect any of this,” Terrence says when he arrives at the restaurant. “Thank you for trusting me to lead the team, man.” 

They don't have the best rapport; Jude has this sense of loyalty to Jelena that hasn't changed. However, he can appreciate the sentiment. Terrence has done a good job considering that this is his first season as Head Coach. 

“Congratulations on getting the team to this stage,” Jude tells him. “I wasn't entirely sold on you becoming our coach, but you've proven me wrong. I know that not many people care about this team as much as you do.” 

“ _ Riders  _ Nation, rise up.” Terrence looks around the room and continues, “Zero has been a huge help. The guys look up to him. Respect him for coming back when he could have just retired. Some of them reckon he'll change his mind about bowing out this season.”

They haven't spoken about Zero's career beyond this season and truth be told, Jude's forgotten that this all began with a retirement announcement. 

“He hasn't mentioned anything about retiring to me  _ and  _ he signed a two year deal. Anything is possible.” 

"I hope that he stays," Terrence says. "We could definitely use him next season."

Terrence leaves him with a slap on the shoulder and goes back to his team. Jude watches him silently and does his best not to think about what Zero's potential retirement would mean.

“I have to say that I'm impressed with you, Jude,” Marcus Douglas says when he makes his way over to him. “I thought you'd crash and burn after the rebrand, but everything seems to be going well.”

Jude agrees with him. Everything  _ is  _ going well. 

_ Too  _ well. 


	5. Overtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so, in order to update earlier, I decided to avoid another 12,000 chapter and split it into two parts. So, there's one more to come. AGAIN! ;)

**Overtime**

isn.com | End of the Road for Zero?

_Last summer Los Angeles Riders small forward, Zero, signed a two year deal and announced his retirement when he signed. With the Riders enjoying a successful first season, it's no surprise that everyone wants Zero to see out his contract. However, there's been no confirmation from the man himself. Rumour has it that this has now turned into a major clash between the player and the board. Team owner (and Zero's fiancé) Jude Kinkade offered no comment when contacted._

_Vote in our poll below. Should Zero stay (or should he go now?)_

More to follow…

* * *

 

With the playoffs approaching, the focus is mainly on basketball, but Jude can't help it. He's already in _wedding mode._ They've both agreed that they don't want to wait too long. Summer is the best time to hold a ceremony and hopefully the media will be focused on baseball or some internet sensation that outstays their welcome _after_ the wedding.

"I think we should elope," Jude says on a whim one night,"Have a beach wedding in Aruba and go scuba diving."

Zero looks up from where he's watching an old episode of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. "You're joking, right? Your mom would kill us. Besides. We don't need anything too elaborate. I say we keep it simple and throw a kick ass party."

Jude grimaces even though Zero is right. His mother would go crazy if she thought Jude was trying to cut her out.

"How are things with your mom since the Oscar reveal anyway?" Zero asks. "I don't know that I'd be able to forgive something like that."

There's dark undertone to Zero's voice, an unspoken opinion on the situation.

Jude shakes his head slowly. "I didn't speak to her for three months, but I caved in. She's still my mom and I get why she didn't tell me. You saw how much I craved Oscar’s approval... knowing the truth before he showed me who he was would have been disastrous."

He hasn't told Zero that he's still in contact with Oscar.

There's a fruit basket and congratulatory message back at his apartment.

Jude doesn't know what Oscar wants from him, but he's wary.

He always will be, just not enough to pay it any more attention than he needs to.

"I guess." Zero sounds wistful, like his mind is wrapped around a distant thought.

"What about you? I know that you didn't have a good time with your mom, but do you know who your father is?"

Zero's laugh is sharp and laced with bitterness. "My father is a middle-class lawyer from Rhode Island who came to California to make it big. My mom was his secretary. You can guess how it all worked out."

"Is he still…?"

"Yeah, but, he waived his parental rights early on. I only found out a few years ago when I reconnected with my mom. It wasn't a huge surprise. I'm used to people not wanting me."

"Well, those people are fools, 'cause you're the best person I know," Jude says gently. He's not sure why Zero's suddenly opening up, but he's not complaining. He wishes that they could talk like this more, be open and vulnerable together.

Zero chews at his lip momentarily before he exhales slowly. "We went to go and visit her and it was a shit show. She's married to this douchebag who does local radio and apparently she's twenty years sober. She told us that having a relationship with us would threaten her sobriety. That the reason why she gave us up was because we were holding her back."

"Damn, Gideon, she really said all of that?"

"I didn't care. Not really. I knew what she was like. I knew that she didn't care. It's Laura who was so hopeful and I had to watch that... _woman_ tear her apart for no reason."

The muscles in Zero's neck tense violently and Jude moves into rub his back soothingly.

"We really lucked out with the parent lottery," Jude remarks with a soft chuckle. "My birth father is an old boss of my mom's. The look on her face when she told me about it was enough that I'll never ask again. In a weird way, I think marrying Oscar saved her _and_ me."

"Do you think that _we'd_ make good parents?" Zero asks abruptly without taking his eyes from the television. "It's not like we've seen good examples. Maybe having a shitty childhood is a sign that you just shouldn't bother. Why screw up some kid when you're an unfixed mess yourself?"

This is definitely new. Back when they first started dating, Zero always froze at the mention of marriage _or_ kids so Jude stopped mentioning the latter altogether.

"Do _we_ want kids?"

Zero frowns, face tensing like he's only realising what he said. "I'm not opposed to the idea and I…"

Jude waits expectantly, but Zero doesn't add more, so he says, "I think we'd figure it out as we went along. If Jelena can do it, we _definitely_ can."

"I forgot about that. She adopted that dancer's kid, right?" Zero scoffs, like he can't quite believe it. "If Jelena Howard can change, there's hope for all of us."

Jude's definitely counting on that.

~

It doesn't take long for Jude's perfect bubble to burst.

The first sign of trouble appears in the form of a nervous looking Zero. Jude finds him dithering outside his office and he practically pushes him into the room. Zero's energy is off, putting Jude on edge.

It's like that day all over again.

The one where Zero was like _I'm going to New York_ and Jude panicked and set off a chain reaction that led to their break up.

Zero clears his throat before he begins.

“Uh, okay, so I know that this might be an unreasonable request, but I need to know if you'd be okay with me getting Liz tickets to the playoffs?”

"Liz?" Jude scans his mind, but the only person that comes to mind is Liz Gillies and that's only because he's been watching the _Dynasty_ reboot with Laura.

Zero runs a hand through his hair, messing up the neat coif it was pulled into. That's not a good sign.

"Liz. My ex-girlfriend. I told you about her."

Jude cocks his head to one side and raises an eyebrow. "You mentioned her in _passing_. Not in enough detail for me to know why she'd want tickets."

The bitterness of his own tone catches Jude by surprise. It's not that he feels threatened by this ex girlfriend. If anything, he should know more about her. It's only fair. Zero knows all about Noah and they're supposed to be partners and have no secrets.

They're not supposed to try and get their secrets free tickets.

“I broke up with her a long time ago," Zero says, sounding defeated and resigned, like this conversation is the worst thing imaginable.

“It bothers me that there's a part of your life that I don't know about."

"You could _ask_ , you know," Zero mutters. It's a fair point. Zero _did_ ask about Noah after all, although, that was a very different situation.

Jude shrugs, conveying his ' _well I'm asking now_ ' in silence. He doesn't want to say something that he'll later regret.

Zero clears his throat. “She's a fitness and wellness coach. We met at a game. Initially it was just physical. You know. Hook-up after a party, event, whatever. After a while we became friends and we decided to see if it would work. It didn't."

Most people would be convinced by Zero's words. His stance is perfect and his shoulders are relaxed. To the casual observer, he would look like a guy simply relaying facts.

Luckily, Jude isn't a casual observer and this isn't his first rodeo.

The fact that Zero is trying to downplay means that it wasn't as simple as he's making it seem.

Jude swallows down the jealousy long enough to say, “Why didn't it work?”

“There were a lot of things that I didn't tell her and in the end, I let her go. I was just wasting her time.”

Jude stares at Zero silently once he's finished speaking, counting down the seconds along with the clock mounted on the wall across from his desk. He goes over the past five minutes, rolling over each word and expression ten times over.

There are too many questions flying around in his mind for him to focus on one; he tries to centre his thoughts and decides to hear Zero out first and act later.

Maybe there's a reasonable explanation.

“Why would Liz want tickets? I thought she wasn't a huge basketball fan? Why would she want to come to a game at all?"

It's strange watching Zero's face switch through different expressions; there's shame, anguish, confusion and regret. His shoulders slump before he speaks and Jude braces himself.

"There’s something about Liz that I didn't tell you. I should have said something before, but I didn't think it would come up. She has an eleven year old son and--"

"--she has a what?" Jude interjects swiftly, unable to claw the words back before they escape. He's unsure if he's upset or simply shocked.

This is not what he expected Zero to say.

"His name is Evan and he's...he's a great kid," Zero continues. "He's a Knicks fan, but apparently he's stoked that we made it to the playoffs and he wants to come see us play.”

Jude's heart _drops_ and swoops down in his chest and he has to gather himself before it hits the ground. Suddenly, the conversation they had about kids makes sense. The way Zero abruptly cut himself off and changed the subject quickly.

“You mean he's happy that _you_ made it and he wants to see _you_ play. Clearly you made an impression on him.”

Zero's never expressed an affinity for children before the other night. There was talk of settling down, but it was never anything concrete. They spoke of kids in abstract terms and that was it. It didn't matter anymore when they broke up.

“He's a great kid, I can't lie. Leaving him behind was pretty tough, but staying would have been worse. I didn't tell you because I thought maybe you'd... judge me. I mean, it's a shitty thing to do right? We both know that. Leaving sucks, no matter how much you need to do it.”

Jude's never been a shades of grey kind of man, but even he can see that it's not that straightforward. Couples break up everyday and children end up being collateral damage. Just like Jude did. The difference is that Oscar never really looked back once he abandoned Jude. Zero obviously cares enough to want to do something nice for the kid.

After everything he’s been through in life, Jude can't fault anyone for that. He can't berate Zero for actually giving a damn.

“I understand,” Jude declares, “and I get why you didn't tell me. If you want to send over tickets, that's fine with me. He can get a tour of the arena, maybe meet the players. Whatever he wants...”

“Yeah?” Zero seems surprised but he tries to hide it. “Thanks, Jude.”

Jude tells himself that he's not bothered, but it's hollow.

~

Zero's caught up with practise during the last two days before the first round of playoff games leaving Jude with a lot of time to brood. Laura thinks that he should use the time to plan the wedding ceremony andJude reminds her that he still has work to do. Just because the regular season is over, it doesn't mean that he can sit on his ass.

“Ugh, you're salty over Liz aren't you?” Laura says from where she's looking at her ever-present phone. “You have nothing to worry about. Trust me.”

“I know that, I'm not worried about Zero straying. I trust him. It's just that this is _our_ moment and now I have to share it with this kid I knew nothing about and _his_ ex. We were talking about _our_ family and now I find out that he basically had this perfect family before."

Laura hums distractedly. “I suppose it is convenient that she suddenly wants tickets now that y'all are engaged, but honestly? I think it's more for Evan's benefit."

Jude hasn't voiced that particular concern or loud be he's definitely thought it.

"Did you ever meet her?" he asks. "What was she like?"

Laura clears her throat loudly. "She was _Instagram_ pretty, the way Gideon likes them. Apart from that, she wasn't around much. The times when she was, she was cool. I always got more of a friends vibe from them, but I didn't pry."

" _Instagram_ pretty," Jude echoes, thinking about all of the picturesque women Zero's been linked with in the past and how different they are from him. That’s not what’s bothering him.

It’s a testament to how far he’s come that he’s more worried about Evan than he is about how hot Zero’s last girlfriend was.

"Gideon was really good with Evan, I remember that much and half of the reason why he stayed with Liz for as long as he did was because he adored Ev. I think that's also part of the reason he left New York.”

It takes Jude a second to catch up, but it hits him then that Zero was back in Ohio after he played in New York. That means he's remained in contact with Liz several years after their breakup - an honour that was never extended to him.

"He left because he liked Evan?"

"Sort of. I think it was more about being attached to someone. We grew up in foster care and that's the number one rule. Don't get attached. I think Gideon thought leaving was the best thing to do for everyone."

"Was it?" Jude says, ignoring the nagging feeling that he shouldn't be talking to her about this.

"I've probably said too much already," Laura replies with a knowing look. "Don't make a big deal out of this."

He lets it go after that.

~

Jude meets Liz court side and he shakes her hand and exchanges pleasantries. She's an attractive woman with striking green eyes, olive skin and long brown hair with golden highlights.

_Definitely Instagram pretty_ , he thinks.

"I've heard a lot about you," she says, immediately contradicting everything Zero's told him about her. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Same here," Jude replies. He's not sure what else he's supposed to say.

_Zero hasn't told me much about you and I don't understand why you're here?_

That wouldn't go down very well.

He reserves most of his attention for Evan who is mostly interested in the commotion on court. He's short in stature with pale blue eyes and scruffy brown hair and a pristine Riders jersey that has Zero's name and number on it.

“This is Jude, Evan, he's the one who got you the tickets,” Liz says. “Say thank you.”

Technically, Zero did, but Jude doesn't correct her. He's not really sure how to act so he settles on smiling and accepting Evan’s half-hearted 'thank you’.

Over the next two hours, Jude watches as the Riders battle with the Clippers. The final whistle comes with disappointment and Jude is forced to sit beside Liz as she consoles an upset Evan. Jude watches on quietly when Evan buries his face in her arms.

It reminds him of the past, a different era, different time. When _he_ was the one huddled together with his mom in these same stands.

“He's very passionate about basketball,” Liz says with an embarrassed smile. "Especially when his favourite players are on court."

“I get it. I remember when crying my eyes out when I was a kid and my father owned the team,” Jude tells her, swallowing down the bile that comes with his automatic mention of a father, “one time, we were so close to winning the finals and we lost in the dying seconds. I cried for days.”

“Guess you're passionate too,” Liz says, her arms still around Evan’s shoulders. “Uh, Zero said he'd take us out for dinner after he's done with the post-game stuff. Are you joining us?”

Jude looks down at Evan and sees himself again. He remembers the rare occasions that his mom _and_ Oscar would be available to spend time with him. He remembers revelling in the warm cocoon of family time.

He decides to leave them to it.

~

Jude ends up having to give Evan the arena tour himself when Zero gets caught up with the media after the game. It's a little awkward, but Evan is attentive and Liz asks a lot of questions to fill the silence.

"Mom says that you're getting married to Zero," Evan says when Liz goes to the bathroom. "It's kind of weird."

"Uh, I guess it is," Jude says, not knowing how progressive Liz is and whether or not Evan is cool with gay marriage."

"Not bad weird, just weird after seeing him with Mom," Evan adds. "She says that he's probably happier with you."

_That_ comes as a surprise.

"She did?"

Evan nods sagely, in that way kids do when they don't know the gravity of what they're saying. "Yeah. Will there be cake at your wedding?"

Jude laughs at how uninterested Evan seems even though he initiated the conversation. "Of course. We might even have two."

"Awesome!"

Footsteps sound and Zero appears in the hallway with a grin on his face. Liz isn't far behind and Jude wonders if they just bumped into each other, or she was speaking to Zero the entire time.

"Little man!"

Evan's face lights up and Jude can only watch on when Zero pulls him into a tight hug.

Liz smiles at them before she turns to Jude and says. "We heard what he said to you. Sorry about that. I tend to tell him everything sometimes."

Jude twists his mouth into grin. "I get it. When I was eleven, my mom told me my Dad was the spawn of Satan. So, yeah. It could always be worse."

"Sounds rough," Liz says with another smile of her own. There's a lull in the conversation after that point. Jude's not sure why he just told her something personal and she just looks at him curiously.

It looks like she's about to say something when a voice sounds in the hall.

"Come on guys, we're about to finish the tour!"

It's an impatient sounding Evan and they both laugh.

"I have to attend to some business so I'll catch up with you later," he says. “It was nice meeting you and Evan. He’s a great kid.”

Liz seems surprised, but she recovers quickly. "Oh, cool. Thanks. It was nice meeting you, Jude. Congratulations on your engagement."

Jude breathes a sigh of relief when Liz rushes to catch up with them.

~

“I think we should sell the house.”

Zero's just gotten back home from dinner and that's the first thing he says. They’ve had a few discussions about what to do with the house now that it’s just sitting there. They can either do it up and move on or rent it out, but Zero’s been getting antsy about it just sitting there.

Jude glances up at Zero and says, “It's _your_ house. Your call.”

Zero drops next to Jude on the couch and presses a brief kiss on his lips. “Actually, it's _our_ house. I never took your name off the deeds. Had to fight with my accountant over that, but it didn't feel right.”

Jude remains silent while he pours over that comment. The house does mean a lot to him. It was the first real significant act of kindness that anyone had done for him. There’s the time he put into making it perfect for them, the nights they spent holed up away from the rest of the world.

The house holds a lot of memories, but…

... Jude's ready to create new ones.

“I think we should keep it and rent it out, just in case you change your mind someday,” Jude says finally. “That doesn't mean that we can't buy a new house. Together.”

Zero smiles softly and holds Jude's gaze for a moment. “I'd like that.”

Jude returns the smile and turns his attention to the television screen. It's set to CNN, but he doesn't care about what's happening in the world. He's desperate to ask about Zero's dinner with Liz and Evan. However, he doesn't want to seem like he's bothered by it so he plays it cool.

“I can hear you thinking, Jude. Say whatever you want to say.”

Jude narrows his eyes and turns to Zero; sometimes he hates that he's so easy to read.

“How was dinner with Liz and Evan? He's...a great kid. He was sad that the team lost, it was kind of awkward really.”

Zero's laughter takes on a weird note that Jude's never heard before. It's a mixture of pride and amazement, like Evan's sadness is something special.

Maybe it is.

“It's funny because he's such a staunch Knicks supporter. He really wanted to see me win.”

Jude can't wrap his head around the love and care he sees in Zero's eyes over this kid that he never mentioned. Even when they spoke about Liz briefly, there was no _by the way I bonded with her son_ and there easily could have been _._

“You're still upset that I didn't tell you about him, aren't you?” Zero looks disappointed yet unsurprised.

Jude bites at his lip and looks away. “Did you figure it out by yourself or did Laura tell you?”

“Does it matter? I can't undo what I did. I didn't expect all of this when I came back. Didn't expect to fall for you all over again or spring a surprise engagement on you, but I did. I'm just making it up as I go along and I didn't think Evan would still be in my life after Liz and I broke up. He isn't really, this was just...something nice for him.”

The thing is that Jude doesn't resent Evan nor does he have an issue with Liz. It's the thought that Zero doesn't trust him enough to confide in him that really stings. Especially after he told him about Oscar.

“Evan isn't the problem, Zero, it's that you kept it from me. I didn't even think you _liked_ kids.”

“Yeah, well, people can change. It's not like you and I never spoke about it. I mean, is that what this is about? You think that I'm going to run off and play happy family with Liz.”

Jude swallows hard and remains silent; he's tired of always doubting Zero and the strength of their relationship, but he can't help it.

“The only person I want to have a happy family with is _you_ , stupid,” Zero adds, his hands suddenly on Jude's face. He tilts Jude's head so that they're facing each other and lets go without glancing away. “Whenever _we're_ ready.”

~

The Los Angeles Riders fail to advance to the next stage of the playoffs, but everyone agrees that it's been a good season overall. There's a weight lifted off Jude's shoulders when Marcus Douglas announces the board is happy for him to continue overseeing the team. Even Lionel seems happy and she admittedly doesn't care about the sporting side of business.

“Things are finally working out for us, Jude. I'm...Well, I'm still screwed in the head, but look at you. Engaged to the love of your life. Successful season. This is...Fantastic. Seriously."

Lionel's smiling but Jude notices that she's slicing her salmon with more gusto than usual. Even though she's the head of ISN, her role has been largely hands off since she took time off to focus on herself.

Jude isn't privy to ISN business so his goal is to keep Lionel occupied and hopefully stop her from falling into old habits. If there's anything that Lionel loves, it's event planning and spending other people's money.

“Hey, so, Zero and I are looking for someone to help plan our wedding. Well. We're doing a ceremony and a reception, so it's a huge task and we could do with some help.”

Jude hasn't run this by Zero yet, but he doubts it'll be an issue. It's not like Zero's about to spend two months cake tasting and picking out flowers.

Lionel takes a small sip of her wine. “Are you asking for my help because you'll know I'll do an amazing job or because you pity me?”

Jude’s been around her long enough to know that the best way to cheer her up is to blow smoke up her ass.

“I know you'll do an amazing job.”

~

House hunting is one of those things that seems fun in movies. They start with cute montages set to some cheesy pop songs and end with the purchase of the perfect house.

It's the exact opposite for Jude.

Zero is cranky and difficult and Jude's not sure why space for a giant hot tub is a non-negotiable requirement. Their realtor gives up after the fourth house, leaving them to it with an eye roll and a comment that sounded like, 'Kobe was less of a jerk and he has _five_ rings'.

“What is up with you?” Jude finally snaps halfway through Zero bitterly complaining about a wine cooler of all things. “You've been acting like a jerk all day.”

Zero folds his arms and shows no signs of letting up. “Oh, have I? If that's how you feel then you can finish this by yourself.”

“I've been looking at them by myself already. All you've done is complain. This was _your_ idea, remember?” Jude knows that he shouldn't add fuel to the fire, but he's only human. Zero's been pissing him off all day.

“Whatever,” Zero mutters before he kicks an open cupboard shut. “I'm leaving.”

Jude watches him go, his feet momentarily planted to the spot. This isn't the first time Zero's walked away from him. He could stand here and feel aggrieved, maybe even use it later in another argument. However, he takes a deep breath and decides to focus on finding out what's bothering Zero. There's no use in both of them being upset.

“Gideon, wait,” Jude calls, stopping Zero in his tracks on the marble floor tiles. “What's up with you today? Just talk to me."

Zero takes his time turning around, his face full of a myriad of emotions when he does. Jude has no idea what could be wrong besides some kind of delayed reaction to the team losing their playoff games.

“I had a meeting with your EVP, Jack, today. Apparently I have no say in whether or not I stay for the second year of the contract. If I bail, he's going to pursue legal action."

Jude was aware of the meeting; everyone felt like it was better to have the Jack handle things due to the conflict of interest, but he didn't know Zero was having major doubts about continuing. If he did, he definitely would have told Jack to cool his jets.

“Do you not want to keep on playing?” Jude asks. “'Cause you had a blast this season. You've been a great team captain, a great _team player_ and I thought you'd change your mind about retiring.”

It’s only then that Jude realises that they’ve never really discussed it. The plan was always to focus on having a great season not what comes after it.

“What do you think I should do?” Zero asks, sounding like a lost child who doesn't know where to go."

It's strange because on the face of it, the solution seems easy. Zero's obviously not done yet _physically_ , he's got a year left in him and everyone knows it. However, he _did_ make a decision to retire and that can't have been easy.

No one can choose Zero's path for him.

Jude learned that lesson the hard way.

Jude shakes his head. “Do whatever makes _you_ happy. I'll support you either way. Having you here has been great, but I won't stand in your way if you want to retire. I don't care what Jack said, if you don't want to play, you don't have to."

Everyone would give Jude hell if he authorized a contract violation, but he doesn't care.

This is _his_ team.

His soon-to-be _husband._

This is the man that he's always been in love with.

All of that comes before whatever is written on a piece of paper.

~

Jude’s mother Susan breezes into town amidst the furore over Zero's future and demands to have dinner with them. Zero seems nonplussed when Jude tells him, but by the time the evening rolls around, it's a different story.

“She's not going to be on my ass, is she?” Zero asks just as they're arriving at the restaurant

“I don't think I can deal with that right now."

“She'll be fine.”

Jude regrets saying those words by the time they're looking at the desert menus. His fillet mignon is sitting in his stomach uncomfortably and he's tempted to order another bottle of Merlot - for _himself_.

Instead he picks at his blueberry pie and rubs Zero's knee beneath the table, away from his mom's prying eyes.

His mother has decidedly _been on Zero's ass._

There have been questions about New York, Ohio, about their relationship and in what was a truly horrible moment, Zero's body count.

“Well, I think I'm satisfied with this relationship for now,” Susan says once the bill has been settled. “He can't be any worse than your father, right?"

Jude knows that she's messed up before she's halfway through her awkward chuckle.

Zero sees that as _his_ opening and suddenly he's saying, "You know, you're mighty judgy for someone who lied to their own child for over twenty years."

"Gideon, don't," Jude warns him. He doesn't want to have one of those families where everyone hates each other. He's good with his mom and that's all that matters, he doesn't need Zero to rush in and defend his honour.

Susan sips her wine nonchalantly. "I did what I had to do and I'd do it all over again. I'd rather my son have a father than a life where he's constantly wondering why someone didn't want him."

Zero's mouth is agape at her response. "Are you hearing yourself? Sure, that lasted for what, six years? What happened when Oscar left? Why didn't you tell him the truth then?"

"Six years is better than nothing, Gideon, and we were happy. Jude was happy. I wouldn't trade that for anything else. Would you?"

"Of course not," Zero says instantly before pauses to think about it, adding, "I guess that makes sense in a really messed up way. Still, I don't see how you could lie to him for so long."

Susan's smile fades and for the first time, there's a hint of remorse in her eyes. "I was protecting my son, Gideon. The truth is that his real father is even worse than Oscar and I had to decide what was better. For him to have an identity, or for him to always wonder."

Zero considers his words before he answers, glancing at Jude momentarily before he says, "I understand that, actually, wanting to protect someone by keeping the truth from them. Sometimes we do crazy things for the people we love."

Jude smiles to himself; it's funny just how similar the two of them are, and always good to know that _he's_ the one thing they can agree on.

"It's clear that you two have a special bond. I don't fully understand what my son sees in you, Gideon, but you make him happy and... that makes me happy.”

Zero seems pleased with that but there's no mistaking the way his eyes dim slightly.

It's in that moment that Jude realises how lucky he is to have his mother in his corner. For all of his inner turmoil about Oscar, it's more than what Zero has. He still hasn't told Jude much about what happened with his birth mother beyond their conversation all of those nights ago. He doesn't talk about her at all and Jude's drawn his own conclusions.

“Thanks, Mom, that means a lot,” Jude says when Zero remains quiet.

Susan turns to Zero and places her hand on his wrist. “I know that you and I have had our differences in the past, but no matter what happens, you can always call me.”

Zero's eyes are watery when he nods quickly. “I appreciate that. Thank you.”

~

Jude surprises Zero with a luxury cabin retreat three weeks after their season ends. The media are occupied with the rest of the games, so the talk about Zero's contract has died down for the time being. Still, they need to figure out what they're going to do so that they can move on.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Zero says from where he's tracing random patterns into Jude's skin. “Away from the madness.”

Jude captures Zero's mouth in a languid kiss before he can say anything else. He still gets antsy whenever Zero makes these comments about not wanting to be around other people.

“Have you made a decision?” Jude asks after he's pulled away. “The board think that I'm the key to getting you to stay.”

“Aren't you?” Zero quips with a wry smile. “I'm marrying you so it's a given that I'm staying in LA. You have a vested interest in ensuring that the team has another successful season. If anything, you should probably be the person that wants to me stay the most.”

“Probably, but so long as you're here, I don't care what you do. The team has survived through worse things than losing our star player.”

Zero shifts so that he’s facing Jude. “I'm staying. I love playing and one more season won't hurt. Maybe I'll get myself a statue outside the arena.”

That startles a laugh out of Jude. “If you get a statue, they'll be hell to pay. Not even Chase Vincent or Pete Davenport have statues and they were once Gods in this town. I can, however, get you a little plaque.”

"I'm offended, Jude, you and I both know that there's nothing little about me."

Jude swats Zero playfully and grimaces. "Just for that, we're definitely not writing our own wedding vows."

~

When they arrive back in Los Angeles, Jude's thrown into work. While the players are enjoying off season, he has to work with the scouts to figure out who's worth offering contracts and for how much. It's not his favourite part of the job. He's definitely signed some duds over the years.

Still, he has a list of options and there's one person whose judgement he trusts when it comes to spotting talent.

"What are you doing here?" Noah says when Jude walks into the ISN broadcasting suite. "Thought you'd be knee deep in wedding planning."

Jude rolls his eyes. "I've been banned from interfering. Apparently, Wedding Planner Zillas are a thing. Who knew?"

Noah laughs gently. "That's Lionel for you. I kind of miss her here actually. She's a fantastic boss."

"When she's not being a pain in the ass, she's great."

Noah switches up quickly, his smile dropping when he says, "Why are you here, Jude?"

Jude waves the binder he came down with. "I came down here to get your opinion on some of these players that are options for next season."

Noah narrows his eyes and presses his lips together. "Yeah, I don't think that this is a good idea.”

There’s coldness in his voice catches Jude by surprise; his hand falls to his side and he clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Why not?”

Noah scoffs and rubs at his temple, like their conversation is physically distressing.”Are you serious? In the past, I helped you because I loved you and you wanted my _personal_ opinion. That was then. I'm not willing to give a professional opinion on these players. That's not my job, Jude."

"Oh. Well. That's fair. I just thought…"

Jude doesn't know what he thought. This time last year, they were still on and off, still messing around with each other and pretending that they didn't care. It's a stark reminder of how much has changed.

"Well you thought wrong,” Noah snaps. “Why don’t you take this to Zero? I’m sure he can help."

Zero.

Jude didn't even consider if Zero would be okay with him asking Noah for his insight. He just acted impulsively and here he is, standing here awash with shame.

"You're right. I should go. Sorry for bothering you."

Noah exhales quietly. "You're not bothering me, it's just... we aren't the same and it would be remiss of us to act like we are."

Despite the breakdown of their relationship, Noah’s been one of Jude’s closest friends over the past few years. It’s not until this moment that he realises that they’re friendship is over.

It would be too weird, and completely unfair, not least because Zero comes first no matter what.

Jude nods. "Fair enough. I guess I'll see you around, Noah."

He doesn't wait for a response.

~


	6. Post-Game

**Post-Game**

isn.com |  _ Return of the Emperor? _

Former L.A. Devils star player Derek Roman was spotted last night during Game 4 of the NBA Finals. This marks one of his few public appearances since he bowed out of professional basketball three years ago. Roman's fall from grace was well documented in his last season when he was rumoured to have been found with illegal substances as well as engaging in violent behaviour with teammates. 

It was a bitter end to what was once a promising career.

* * *

 

Jude curls his lip and clicks out of yet another one of Noah's articles. He should be happy that it's not about Zero, but the mere mention of Derek Roman leaves a bad taste in his mouth. 

He turns his attention back to the matter at hand. Waiting for his attorney who is now thirty minutes late for their lunch.  

By the time his attorney, Robert, arrives, Jude is annoyed  _ and  _ hungry.

Robert is all apologies when he takes his seat across from Jude. 

"Sorry, man, I got stuck in mediation with the wife. Or should I say, soon to be  _ ex _ -wife? We're just delaying the inevitable if you ask me."

In normal circumstances Jude would think  _ no, I didn't ask  _ and wonder why they're discussing Robert's personal life at all, but he's curious. 

"Didn't you just get married a year ago? You had that weird flamingo themed ceremony... that I enjoyed."

Robert raises an eyebrow at the hastily added part of Jude's reply, but he shrugs it off and chuckles dryly.

Jude remembers it clearly because he and Noah laughed through the entire thing. It was a sea of valley girl accents and bleached hair. The best thing about that day was the open bar and constant flow of Rosé. 

Robert clicks his teeth together. "Yeah, it didn't work out. I think maybe we rushed into it. Turns out that she's crazy and I'm not even halfway close to being crazy adjacent, so... Anyway, you don't want to hear about that. Let's talk business."

After their lunch is over, Jude finds himself wishing Robert did want to talk about his marriage. 

Particularly the rushing comment.

It's still on his mind later when he's at home with Zero the following evening.

Zero nudges his shoulder gently and says, "So, I was thinking we could take a look at some more houses tomorrow. I promise to be on my best behaviour this time."

"There's no rush, is there?" Jude says. "We both have a lot going on. Let's not over work ourselves."

Jude can hear the snappiness in his own voice, but he can't help it. The conversation with Noah left a sourness that he can't seem to wash away. 

There's a voice taunting him over and over and he's starting to think that  _ he's  _ not ready for all of this. Getting married, buying another house and everything that it entails.

Zero eyes him carefully. "Jude, what's up with you? You've been acting all weird since yesterday."

"I think that maybe we should put the wedding on hold," Jude says, tripping over his words in his haste to get them out.

Zero doesn't visibly react which is strange. Usually, his shoulders tense or his jaw clenches, but there's nothing. 

"Oh," Zero says. "Why do you think that?"

"I don't know," Jude says. "Maybe it's because my mom married Oscar after three months. Ahsha and Derek had a whirlwind romance and look what happened. Kyle's in the midst of a divorce, hell, even my freaking lawyer is getting divorced."

The thing is that even though he and Zero have been together for what seems like years, this relationship is still new. They're both different people and there's no guarantee that it'll just work. Plus, with Zero playing for another year, it's going to be more of the same. Crazy schedules, barely seeing each other and having to play it cool in public. 

There's also the major life change that will come with Zero being the first current NBA star to be married to a man. The old Jude would have loved to be the second half of that equation, but now that he's older, he doesn't want Zero's legacy to be tarnished. Zero's won four rings and played a damn good game over his career. 

Jude doesn't want that to become a footnote, not when Zero's worked so hard to get where he is. 

"I think that I might feel the same way."

Zero's response takes Jude by surprise and he feels the tension bleeding out of his body slowly. 

"Oh, thank God. I know that we have Lionel planning this huge party, but--"

Zero shrugs. "We never had an engagement party. Problem solved."

"Just like that?"

"Why make it more complicated than it needs to be?" Zero's eyes soften and he reaches out to squeeze Jude's knee. "I love you and even if I didn't think we should wait, I would anyway because I want both of us to be ready." 

Jude grins at him. "Me too."

~

Laura catches Jude at breakfast the next morning. She waits until Jude's halfway through a large swig of orange juice to confront him.

"Apparently, you've postponed your wedding until next year."

Jude puts his glass down and wipes his mouth with a napkin. "Uh. Yeah. I didn't realise Zero told you already."

Laura releases a wistful sigh. "All of this buildup and now I have to wait? You're lucky that I love both of you."

~

Lionel bitches and complains but she's able to turn the wedding into an engagement party and the invites go out. 

Jude's mom calls the day after she receives her invitation in the post. "What happened? Did he do something? Do I need to make good on my throat to chop his balls off?"

Zero cracks a grin, like his future mother in law threatening to dismember him isn't a cause for concern. Jude watches on in exasperation as Zero races through a yellow light. He wishes he could be so carefree. 

"Mom, you're on loudspeaker, and no he didn't do anything, we've just decided to wait until next year."

"Hi, Gideon," his mom calls out cheerfully, like she didn't just threaten his manhood.

"Hey, Mrs K," Zero says. "Are my balls safe?"

"For now."

Jude hangs up before the conversation can get any weirder. 

He'll call her back later. 

Zero looks over at him when they stop at a red light. "That went well. Better than I expected."

Jude raises an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Hey, I'm the one who proposed after three months. Totally makes it my fault. Not that I care. It's  _ our  _ life. Our time. Let everyone speculate."

~

Derek Roman isn't a face that Jude's expecting to see, yet he makes an appearance at a Riders charity ball game. Technically, it's an all-star Devils vs present day Riders game. The old guard versus the new. Jude's not sure how Jack convinced Derek to show up. Last time he checked not even Terrence was in contact with him.

Jude decides to keep it short and sweet; it's a charity game, he can be civil.

"Derek. It's nice to see you. You look well."

"Lot of change around here, huh?" Derek replies, "I see that you're still standing, though. Funny how things work out."

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Derek Roman." Zero steps forward so that he's in line with Jude.. "I didn't think they'd even invite you to this thing."

Derek flashes his pearly white teeth. "I'm still the main man around here. You might be building a new team. I  _ was _ the old team. Besides, didn't you bail on the Devils? After all of the scheming and bitchass behaviour, you couldn't hack it."

Jude glances at Zero just in time to see something dark flit across his eyes. 

Zero takes another step forward, leaving Jude a pace behind. "I jumped off a sinking ship and look where I found it when I came back. Bottom of the freaking ocean. 

Derek inches forward into Zero's space. "The only thing you're good at is being pretty and going after what I've already had."

Zero doesn't flinch. "I have four rings. How many do you have?"

Jude watches the way Derek's throat convulses and he knows that Zero's got him there. 

"Yeah, well, you got lucky. You like to jump ship instead of helping the team. You're not a team player and you never will be."

Zero chuckles. "Snorting coke off a locker room bench really gave you an inflated sense of ego didn't it. You were given multiple second chances and you blew it, Derek. Don't expect people to feel sorry for you." 

"What, you've never made mistakes?"

"I've made mistakes," Zero says, glancing back at Jude briefly, "but I actually learn from them. You were actually a good teammate when you wanted to be. The guys looked up to you and you let them down."

Derek's dream move to Miami only lasted a year before he and Ahsha split. After his poor showing, Miami was more than happy to let him go once his three year contract was over. His return to the Devils was more of the same; partying, girl trouble and being a bad example to the rookies. 

"That we can agree on," Derek admits quietly. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you and I didn't get along better. You're a good player and a better example than I was."

Zero chuckles quietly. "I had my fair share of scandal. It's just that after a while, you need to when to buckle down and get serious."

Derek's answering nod is emphatic. "Yeah, no doubt. If I could go back and change the past I would, but I can't."

"Well then, I guess you better make amends today. I'm playing in the all-star Devils team with you."

"Oh, yeah? I might be rusty, but you can still learn a thing or two from me."

"Guess I'll see you on the court then."

Derek actually pats Zero on the back before he goes over to mingle with some of the other guests. 

Jude isn't sure how Zero managed to twist a pissing contest into a poignant moment.

"I wonder what he's up to these days," Jude says. Keeping up with former players isn't his thing. "Last I heard he was on Celebrity Big Brother."

The only reason Jude knows that is because Derek bad-mouthed the team hierarchy all through his time on the show 

Zero glances at Derek's retreating figure. "According to Terrence, he spiralled again after he left the team and he's been in and out of rehab. He got a DUI six months ago."

Jude isn't surprised about that. He is nonplussed by Zero's awareness of Derek's plight, though. Derek is the last person that Zero cares about. 

"Maybe we should reach out to Derek's people, see if we can't find a role for him with the team. If that's okay with you."

Jude nudges Zero gently. "You want to give Derek a role? Here? Are you crazy?"

"Jude, you used to deal him  _ coke _ , and he declined so badly during his last season that he didn't even play the last two games. He has a problem and if I'm being honest, the team should have done more to help him."

It's mind boggling to hear Zero defending Derek Roman of all people, not least of all because he has no idea what he's talking about. Jude's not heartless; he gave Derek multiple chances, they set him up with a handler, a therapist and got nothing from it. 

"If  _ you  _ want to give him a job in any capacity, I'm not stopping you. You weren't here for his last season, Gideon, and I'm not going to take on a liability when I'm trying to rebuild the team."

Zero shakes his head. "Look at Pete. Great coach, phenomenal player. Terrible alcoholic. Surely the team has a responsibility for these players? We parade them around every season for publicity and then toss them back to the wolves."

"Chase Vincent. Great EVP. Phenomenal player. Terrible rapist. Am I responsible for him to? He's bankrupt and on charges of tax evasion. Should I help him out too?"

"That's not a fair comparison."

"Doesn't need to be. Both he and Derek made millions from this team and with all due respect, my job isn't to babysit them. I know you're looking at it from a player perspective, but what happens to them isn't my fault."

"Terrence Wall. Great coach. Phenomenal player. Great guy. Except, it could have been different. His injury ended his career and it could have gone very differently, yet, he worked at it and just had a pretty good season. Who's to say that Derek couldn't have a similar success story?"

Jude is still stumped, but they don't have time to stand here and argue about this. 

"Well, okay, if we're talking business, why don't you give me a plan for how you think we should deal with the players. I want a full breakdown of costs, benefits and drawbacks and maybe I'll consider it."

Zero purses his lips together, his eyes narrowing when he realises that Jude is being serious. "Jude, come on, I don't know how to do any of that."

"If you're passionate about this, you'll find a way."

~

The engagement party draws closer and Jude finds himself thinking about the Derek Roman situation. Zero's decision to continue playing is still fresh and the more Jude thinks about it, the more he's convinced that the reasons he gave regarding his reluctance weren't entirely true.

"I need to be honest about something," Jude announces late in the evening, when he's curled up in bed and on the phone to Zero. 

Jude's got an early meeting tomorrow and needed to pick up some files, so he's staying at his own apartment. Technically, he should be asleep, yet he felt compelled to call Zero at a quarter to midnight.

"Go on."

"Noah and I used to do this thing where we'd go over footage of our prospective players and pick who we thought were the standouts. When I got the tapes a few weeks ago, I went over to him thought he could help me out..He flat out told me to leave, like, it was something wrong and at first I thought he was crazy, but…"

"... but?"

"Going over to Noah was crazy. The kind of split second decision that made me realise how fast things are going."

"I... why are you telling me this, Jude?"

Jude shrugs to himself. "I wanted to be honest. I want this to work, but it's like there's always something in me that deliberately screws up."

There's a long pause on the line and Jude holds his breath. 

Eventually, something rustles in the background and Zero says, "It's weird that you work with your ex, but it was the same for you with Jelena, so... I just have to deal with it. And I trust you."

"I trust you too, Gideon."

After that heartfelt conversation, things seem to take on a lighter note. Jude takes a few weeks off work to hang out with Laura and Zero plus help Lionel with the party planning. 

"Did you know that there are three hundred different shades of blue?" he tells Zero on their drive home from dinner one Friday evening. "'Cause I didn't. Not before Lionel made me pick out napkins."

It takes a second for Zero to respond and Jude starts to get irritated. He's been like this all day, spacing out, taking twice as long to answer basic questions. This is supposed to be their personal time and it's like Jude is talking to himself. 

"It would be nice if you showed  _ some  _ interest in  _ our  _ engagement party," Jude snaps. They come to a halt at a stop sign and Zero glances at him warily. 

"I don't care about napkins or who sits where. Besides, why do we need napkins for an engagement party?"

Jude rolls his eyes, clearly Zero wasn't listening when he told him about Lionel's banquet idea. 

"What's on your mind, Gideon?" 

Zero shakes his head slowly. "Nothing. I was just wondering about something and--it's stupid. Just ignore me, okay. I'll be fine when we get home." 

That turns out to be the furthest thing from the truth.

By the time Jude's slipping into his pyjamas, Zero's in his own world on his side of their California king bed. If it was Riders related, Jude would probably already know about it which means that it's personal. 

"Hey, man, what's up, why are you so quiet?" Jude asks for the second time. He feels like he's prying and invading Zero's space, but what can he do? "I'm going to go and get some water and if you want, we can talk then."

Zero hums in agreement but offers nothing by way of an answer. 

Fortunately for Jude, Laura still lives with them and she  _ still  _ has no filter. 

"He's having trouble with the plan you asked him to come up with and he's too proud to ask for help." 

"I didn't expect it to be a full blown out projected proposal. Just an outline of what he feels is best."

"Jude, my brother thinks you're the smartest guy in the world. He's a basketball player and he does his thing on the court. You do your thing in your office, or wherever. I don't really know what you do."

Jude frowns. "I don't get it."

Laura gives him a look that implies she thinks he's an idiot. 

"Let's say that you had to play a season game for the team alongside Zero. How would you feel?"

"Unequivocally inadequate - and I played in high school - what does that have to do with--oh."

"Yeah,  _ oh _ ," Laura says. "I love you, Jude, but I don't think you're as smart as Zero thinks you are."

By the time Jude makes it back to the bedroom, Zero's sitting up with his laptop. He closes it when he sees Jude and smiles awkwardly. 

"Hey, sorry about before. Just needed a moment."

It hits Jude then that this is how Zero becomes when he's about to play a really important game; intense and focused. This player welfare idea of his must mean a lot to him. 

"You don't need to apologize," Jude tells him. "I get it."

Zero bites his lip and opens the laptop. It's still on and there's a word document on the screen. He gestures towards it and says, "I'm not very good at this. Structuring a proposal."

Jude takes a seat on the edge of the bed and reaches for the computer. He reads in near silence for fifteen minutes before he looks back up at Zero. The document isn't perfect, but a rough draft isn't supposed to be. However, it's more than what Jude expected. It's clear that Zero has done his research. 

Instantly, Jude finally sees what he's been missing all along.

"This has nothing to do with Derek Roman does it? Something happened to you and  _ you  _ didn't have any of this support."

Zero swallows audibly and his shoulders tense; he licks his lips and bites into the bottom one. Every time Jude peels a layer away, there's always another.

"New York was...different. It wasn't like Ohio, or Los Angeles. In New York, I was a tiny fish in a big pond. The people I knew were the ones who only know how to have a good time and before I met Liz, I was just hanging on. Call it homesickness or heartbreak, whatever. It was just shitty and I did things that I'm not proud of."

Jude followed Zero's time in New York and if he's right, he can pinpoint when this was. The middle of his first season when he was in bad form, losing easy points and being booed by the fans and criticised by the media. He remembers reading articles and thinking that Zero would be doing much better if he was still a Devil. 

Except for the part where the issues started in California. 

"Your last season with us...That was part of it right? We were fighting and you just seemed so over it."

Not that Jude blames him. Zero's last year was the start of the Devils tumultuous years. They were struggling on court, scandal after scandal seemed to pop up faster than Jude could quash them. 

"All I wanted when I was younger was to be the star of the Devils. It was the moment I spent my entire life waiting for and it... it was a disaster, Jude. Just a mess. It was hard to deal with that."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Zero laughs and leans back against the headboard. "We were the Kings of L.A. You were in your dream job and... I didn't want to ruin that for you."

"Can we promise each other something?" Jude says. "From now on, if there's a problem - no matter how big or small it is - we tell each other."

Zero's quiet for awhile and Jude knows he's struggling with that concept. It's classic Zero to want to take on Jude's problems while remaining stoic about his own. 

Eventually, Zero nods and says, "I can do that…"

They seal their promise with a kiss. 

~

It's the day of their engagement party and they're  _ both  _ busy. After reviewing Zero's proposal, Jude realised that there was no way the board would get behind it. Their main goal is to be profitable and player welfare is something they would bury one way or another. 

Instead, they decided it would be better for Zero to start his own company for all athletes alike. 

Since then, Zero's been trying to secure some investors and former players to join his cause. It's amazing how far he's come from being that self-involved player he was all those years ago. If it wasn't for his typical laid back and snarky demeanour, Jude would wonder if he was with a different guy altogether. 

One thing that hasn't changed is Zero's need to control all aspects of his appearance and Jude decides to have a little fun with that.

"Jude, did you forget to get our outfits together for this thing?" Zero gripes when he reaches the hotel suite Lionel so graciously booked them. The party is being held below in the back garden area, so at least they don't have to worry about beating traffic. 

"This 'thing' is our engagement party," Jude says. "Relax. I have everything in order. I'll get them now. I forgot that it takes you three hours to get ready."

Zero whips off his shirt and gestures at his chest. "Looking this good is a  _ chore,  _ Jude. Three hours is nothing."

"Yeah, yeah," Jude says, rolling his eyes when Zero gives him one of his trademark smirks, "go grab a shower and all will be revealed."

By the time Zero emerges from a cloud of steam with a white towel wrapped around his narrow hips, Jude's got both outfits hanging up on the back of the door. 

Initially, he was going to buy identical suits for both of them, but that would have backfired horribly for  _ him  _ if anything, so he called Javier and together they made a selection that was complimentary to both of them.

"You ready?" Jude asks. "We have two hours before our grand entrance."

"Jude, you do realise that Javier and I have been acquainted for years, right?"

Jude smiles. "That's why I paid him extra to lie to you when you asked him what I picked out."

Zero's mouth drops open and Jude laughs. 

Jude picked out a pale blue suit with a deep purple pocket square for Zero. The pants are slim fit and there's a crisp white shirt to go with it. For himself, he chose a dark navy suit and a matching pocket square. He was tempted to go with something garish and bright, but in the end he kept it simple. 

"I love them," Zero says. "We might make a fashionista out of you yet."

Jude shakes his head vigorously. "Never again. This is your lane. I'm going to stay out of it."

"Speaking of lanes…" Zero trails off and Jude watches as his white towel slips off his narrow waist and drops to the floor. "It won't take us more than an hour to get ready…"

Jude  _ should  _ maintain his resolve and insist that they get ready. 

Instead he spends the next hour mapping Zero's warm skin with his tongue and making good use of their hotel suite. 

"Would it be bad if we skipped the party and had are own?" Zero says when they're sated and curled up together. 

"We have the rest of our lives to that," Jude says. "Plus, Lionel would end both of us."

Zero groans loudly. "Guess we better hit the shower then."

Eventually, they make it to the party half an hour late. Judging by the huge eruption of confetti when they walk under the wooden arch by the sliding doors, it doesn't matter. Jude turns to Zero and presses a chaste kiss on his lips. 

Laura appears suddenly and pulls Jude into a hug and whispers, "Nice hickey." 

Jude furrows his brow and says, "I don't have one."

"Yeah, but Gideon does."

Jude's face flushes; he knew that them showering together was a bad idea. 

Once they're done putting concealer on Zero's neck, they mingle amongst their guests. It seems like there are an array of familiar but strange faces. Jude has no personal affiliation with any of the people here besides his mom, but he doesn't focus on it. He hooks his hand in Zero's and lets the warmth bleeds into his. 

It's not until he hears a familiar voice that he extracts himself. 

"Congratulations, Jude."

Jude turns to see the striking green eyes that belong to Jelena Howard. He moves on impulse and pulls her into a hug. For some strange reason he's missed her. Missed the late nights they spent together trying to unravel the mess that was the Los Angeles Devils. 

Seeing her really makes Jude realise how much has changed. 

"When did you get back to California?" Jude asks her. "How's Miguel?"

Jelena seems taken aback by the questions and she takes a minute to straighten out her blue dress. "We touched down a few months ago. Jesse died in a tragic boating accident." 

Jude gives her a knowing look. 

"What?" Jelena says. "I didn't kill him."

"Didn't kill who?" Zero's arms snake around Jude's waist and he presses a kiss to his neck. "Jelena. Long time, no see."

Jelena gives Zero an unaffected look. "Zero. Took you long enough to lock Jude down. You're a lucky man. Don't screw it up."

"I won't." Zero is sincere which makes the interaction strange for Jude. He's used to being a spectator while they go back and forth. 

"Terrence is here by the way," Zero adds. "He's single and he has been for a while. Maybe you should talk to him."

"Actually, I'm with someone," Jelena says. "... not that my personal life is none of your business."

Zero smirks. "I didn't realise that succubus's had personal lives."

"... says the resident manwhore. Jude are you  _ sure  _ this is who you want to be with?" 

Jude's secretly relieved that they're not being nice to each other anymore. 

~

Jude's resting his head on Zero's shoulder and swaying to the sultry beat of whatever romantic ballad the band is playing when Lionel steps up to the mic and calls for quiet.

There's a huge screen behind her that suddenly comes to life. 

" _ I'd like to thank the two people that brought me here…" _

Jude laughs softly at the words that started it all. He watches the younger version of himself standing behind a cocksure and bold Zero. He remembers how certain they were that their plan would work. How naive they were.

The screen dims and Lionel brushes her loose bangs from her eyes and begins her speech. "I've had the honour of knowing Jude Kinkade for many years now. He's my rock, my confidant and best friend. I've also had the honour of knowing Zero or  _ Gideon  _ for just as long and even though he and I don't always see eye to eye, I know that he's the perfect guy for Jude."

Lionel's pauses just in time for the screen to come to life once again. 

This time it's 'The Kiss' as it's been dubbed, along with the press scramble that happened after. The screen flickers and Zero's sitting in front of a black backdrop with Gayle King sitting across from. 

_ "Was 'The Kiss' a publicity stunt? Some people think that it was. You were the new player in town and everyone was focused on Derek Roman. Rumour has it that you would have done anything to change that?"  _

Jude watches on as Zero rubs a hand against the stubble on his chin and leans back. 

" _ Dating Jelena Howard was a publicity stunt. What I had with Jude was real. Kissing him like that was the scariest thing I've ever done." _

_ "Do you ever regret it?" _

_ Zero doesn't miss a beat before he answers. "No." _

The screen dims and Lionel clears her throat before she continues. "They might not make sense and they might not be who we want them to be, but they love each other. They stand up for each other. They protect each other. They always seem to find a way back to each other and I hope that this time they don't let go. Here's to Jude and Zero!"

There's a montage of video clips and pictures and Jude finds himself smiling at the old memories. Some seem like a lifetime ago and some seem like yesterday. Once it's over, the guests break out into a loud round of applause. 

Zero's eyes are glassy and wet and Jude's blinking back his own tears. They share an unspoken conversation and simultaneously turn to go to the bar when a short figure appears in front of them. 

"Oscar." 

"I just wanted to offer you my congratulations and best wishes," Oscar says. "I know that I wasn't very supportive in the beginning, but I really do wish you the best."

"I'm sure you do," Zero says blankly. "Why are you even here? You're off the hook. Jude knows that you're not his father. You finally got what you wanted."

Jude loves that Zero is always willing to stick up for him, but he knows that he and Oscar need to talk. 

"Zero, can we have a second? I'll meet you by the bar."

"He's just protective of me is all," Jude explains when Zero leaves. 

Oscar smiles. "He should be and he's right to be wary of me. I don't have the best track record."

"Why are you here Oscar? I'm surprised Mom hasn't had you thrown out yet."

"I'm here to support my son - whether he still sees me as a father or not."

"Well, thank you for coming. I appreciate it."

"You've done a wonderful job with the team this season. It can't have been easy to rebrand and put out a team within a season." 

"It wasn't."

"I always knew that you had it in you...I think that's why I kept you at arm's length. You reminded me of myself when I was your age... except I was capable of terrible things."

"I've done my fair share of terrible things, Oscar," Jude admits. "... but I've learned from both of our mistakes. It's better to run an honest business than watch a corrupt empire burn to the ground."

Oscar nods sagely. "Perhaps you're right. I suppose time will be the judge."

Lionel swoops in at that moment and sends Jude over to a scowling Zero. 

"Lionel said that you're scaring our guests."

"I was just about to come over." Zero gestures towards the spot where Jude left Lionel and Oscar. "What did he want?"

Jude shrugs. "He said that I'm doing a good job with the team."

Zero body language changes entirely, from hostile to open and Jude falls in love just a little more.

"... and how does that make you feel?"

Jude ducks his head and actually thinks about it. 

"I don't feel anything," he says eventually. "I don't need his approval. I don't need anybody's approval. I did a good job because I'm  _ good  _ at my job, dammit. I don't need anyone to tell me that."

"That's what I've been telling you all along, stupid."

Jude grabs Zero's tie and pulls him in gently, kissing him slowly, savouring the taste of champagne on his lips. 

"Thank you for always believing in me, Gideon. I love you and I'm so glad that you came back to me."

"Thank  _ you  _ for always seeing the real me," Zero says. "You're the only person that I've truly loved, Jude... to the point where it scares me sometimes, but then I remember that I'm safe when I'm with you. You've always been Team Zero." 

"...and I'll always be your main number one guy."

Zero grins. "Now I feel like I need to buy you another Porsche." 

Jude laughs. "That's kind of played out. I want an Aston Martin this time."

Zero mock bows. "Anything you want, M'lord."

"Right now, I kind of want to ditch this party and finish what we started earlier…"

"Under normal circumstances I'd be all over that, but there's a Rider Girls performance coming up in twenty minutes that I just  _ can't  _ miss." 

"Is this what I have to look forward to? You turning down sex because of a dance routine you've seen a million times before?"

"Oh, Jude," Zero says. "Jealousy is not a good colour on you."

Jude folds his arms across his chest. "I'm not jealous."

"Maybe  _ you  _ should dance for me then."

This is the part where Jude blushes and tells Zero to shut up, but he decides to switch gears. 

"Name the time and place and I'm game."

Zero's momentarily taken aback before he settles into staring in disbelief. "I'm talking full routine. With cutaway pants and some sort of Magic Mike routine."

"I've already said yes."

Zero stares at him, swallowing audibly as he no doubt pictures it in his mind. He picks up his glass and drains the rest of his champagne. 

"Let's get out of here."

Before Jude can respond, Zero's hand is on his and they're practically gliding through the guests streaming around on the grass. Jude catches his mother's eyes when he passes her and she winks at him. 

The old Jude would have stopped in his tracks and been to embarrassed to continue, but this Jude? 

This Jude doesn't care because he's about to get his happy ending. 

~ _ fin~ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read and commented! <3
> 
> This story ended up going in a completely different direction thanks to my old friend writer's block, but I'm glad to have finished it!


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